"Dismissive of the pain I had"

It is the 5th consultant I saw in 3 months about the lump I have on my back. The 6th or 7th time I have been in the Altnagelvin Hospital in Derry, and I have never experienced anything like this. In fact, my experience has been so pleasant in the Fracture Clinic that I had with me today a card and a box of chocolate to thank the staff there - consultants and nurses alike - for their kindness and professionalism.

The reason why I am writing today is because the recent consultation with the doctor was dismissive of the pain I had and the reason why I came, I personally found the language used to be abusive and described it as such, and critical of the diagnostic of other consultants and cynical in the way my questions were answered.

As soon as I used that word, abusive, a nurse was asked to come to the room, and the doctor commented that it was them who feels abused by me. I left the appointment crying, and as I was sitting in the entrance of the hospital to look at the papers handed by the nurse who was in the room with us to complain if I wished to (they spoke to me right after I left the room), another nurse came to me, not knowing who I was, but as I explained what happened, they shared that another staff member who was in the room was also left shaken after this consultation. It is unacceptable to have a member of medical staff act in such a way. This is the reason why I am writing today.

On to the story: 

I had a conversation previously on the phone over a month ago with the doctor. Already over the phone I had a feeling they were being a bit dismissive but didn't think much of it until I arrived at the hospital. 

There was the doctor and two additional members of staff as I arrived in the consultation room. I barely sat in the chair to speak about my problem when I was asked to see where it was hurting. The lump is on my left buttcheek.

I was asked a few times to show exactly where the lump was and they pushed with a finger and it was painful. This was done a few times and I shared it was hurting here at this same place.  They then asked one of the other staff members to also see and touch it too.

As I sat down, he asked how big I thought this lump was - dating from 20 years ago- so I said it was perhaps the size of a golf ball, and that I wasn't sure. They started to read the report from previous doctors, making comments for each one of them in what I felt was a mocking tone. Said it was evaluated that the lump is 3 to 5 cm. I asked what that meant, and how big it was. They replied 3 to 5 cm, with additional comments.

When the MRI scan was read - which was also read to me by the previous consultant who is the one who booked me an appointment with the surgical department - they said that they actually saw no lump whatsoever. There is no lump. And just kept repeating that when I was speaking of the pain and the fact that they had touched a point where I was hurt.

The whole conversation then turned to an altercation where I felt ridiculed and that I had to justify myself for the pain I had, but also for asking, granted the fact that they see no lump then what then what to do?

They continued to make dismissive remarks and this is when I actually said that I believe we didn't start this consultation from the right foot, that maybe it is because we have a different kind of humor but that I feel that some comments made were cynical and dismissive and quite frankly that it was abusive. The whole consultation was truly awful.

This is when he asked the nurse to come in and I asked them to repeat the same things they had said before as the nurse was there. But obviously they didn't. I was made to read the MRI scan out loud to show that there is "nothing there" ( aka nothing threatening but still 3 x 5 cm lump is there). The doctor said I was just upset because they had said there is no lump. 

We ended this appointment with me being referred to another doctor because this doctor felt they couldn't continue the appointment with me. I had also asked to be referred to another doctor too.

To be quite honest I felt even upset that the doctor saw my buttcheek so quickly - especially for pushing his finger to a spot that was painful and at the very beginning of our appointment to claim that they didn't see any lump. How is this possible?

I respect highly any medical staff and always have. But this is truly unacceptable.