"My Stroke"

One day mid July this year at 6.00 am got up to go to the loo as normal when I had this rush feeling and sound running down my neck and down my right arm to my fingers. It knocked me off my feet and I grabbed the loo and held on for dear life. `my husband shouted if I was alright but I couldn't answer him so he came into the en-suite and found me babbling on and on and he looked at my face as saw that it had dropped on the left side, so he said he would call 999.  

Then 2 `Lives men came into me but I couldn't answer them, I don't know what they did but the next thing I remember was being told we were going to try and get me onto the bed but I couldn't move my feet they were dead. Then the Ambulance arrived and put meant the ambulance. The only thing that I remember is hearing the Siren going and someone telling me to breathe . `I don't remember anything else until I was on the Stroke Ward at Lincoln.

A Sister came and told me what had happen to me and where I was and she rang my husband to tell him I was safe and could come to see me later on. She brought a tray with different items to eat on it for me to try and see how my swallow was and decided my drinks had to be thicken to help me. The first night was strange parts of me felt as though they didn't. belong to me. Next morning the Physio Team came to me and got me out of bed for a walk which was lovely to move but I wasn't allowed to do it on my own yet.

Gradually I was let to go on my own to the loo.  I couldn't feel down my left side of my arm, my mouth was still dropping a little and my swallow wasn't good. The Nursing Staff were excellent on this ward although they were rushed off their feet as they were full to capacity .  I was had to have a Doppler Scan on my neck to check that there were no clots there which happened on the `Monday afternoon as they squeezed me in-between patients which was lucky for me because they were so short of beds the Staff `nurse asked me how long it would be for my husband too come and get me to go home. `

I said an hour and rang him straight away. He did arrive within the hour thankfully.  I had been moved from my bed into the Staff `lounge to wait for my Discharge papers to be signed by the Doctor then I cold go.  `it took ages or this to happen in fact my husband had been with me for half and hour before I received the papers to say I could go.  

No one said anything about further treatment to me .  So the next morning I was surprised too receive a phone call rom the Stroke Team  telling me that they were coming to look after me for the next few weeks of my recovery.  They did come for the next 6 weeks and helped me with me movements of my hand and arm, with exercises to do daily several time a day which I did do.

I was supposed to see my Consultant at 6-8 weeks after my Stroke well u to this date `I have not see here and the appointment that I had for the end of October has been cancelled and its now end of `November and its a phone call not a view to see them which I am not too happy about.

 Anyway `I am getting on with my recovery myself, I can now drive but I have lost my confidence only own to drive.  yes I can go out and mix but I fear going out into the world I sill worry *What if I have another Stroke what will happen this time* this is something I can not get out of my head. 

The fear will not go away and its hard to be in a crowd it feels over powering I feel lost and alone which it silly really because I am a grown woman acting like a child with childish fears.  Can you explain it because I can't.  So I take it a day at a time and see what is what and go with it.  Hopefully with the drugs `I am taking it will not happen again and I will get back to a new normal at some point.