"Lack of care for other illnesses during Covid19"

Around the beginning of lockdown in March 2020 my husband began having trouble swallowing. He would manage a couple of mouthfuls and then have terrible fits of retching. Our GPS were initially reluctant to come out but did eventually and managed to get him to hospital for a scan. We were warned there there was a possibility of cancer by both GPS and hospital consultant. However nothing showed on the scan and we were left to get on with it.

 Things were getting worse and my husband was losing a lot of weight. Eventually he was admitted to hospital in June. Of course there was no visiting and we had great difficulty getting information. My husband told me that nobody even spoke to him and he was left on his own to deal with the bouts of retching. It took nearly three weeks and four endoscopies before they diagnosed oesophageal cancer. They did not feel it necessary to even have a nurse with him when he was told although there are MacMillan nurses based in Aberdeen Royal Infirmary. He was left to deal with himself.  I feel there was no compassion there.

Two days later he was told there was nothing they could do for him and had to phone and tell me that himself. We had to phone in to try and get to speak to a doctor but ended up speaking to the charge nurse. At this point I managed to get in to see my husband and was told that I would be allowed a daily visit.  When I was leaving I went to the nurses station to ask what was the best time to come in. I was shouted at, told I had got it wrong and I would not get in again. At this point the person who had phoned intervened and said that they had been told to tell me I would get in every day. However I did not get back in. In the situation we found ourselves, I feel the rudeness was completely out of order and unnecessary. 

We asked to get my husband home, they agreed but because he now had an NSJ tube my daughter and I had to be shown how to feed him.

My husband died less than 4 weeks later, two days before our wedding anniversary.

I totally understand that we are by no means the only family to have suffered like this, but surely it is unacceptable to treat people this way a little human kindness goes a long way. In the absence of family my husband was totally alone, Ill and frightened because he felt  nobody would even give him a kind word. I am writing this because it troubles me so much and although it is now nine months since my husband died I would like to think that in the event of another outbreak this aspect should be addressed. 

In my opinion the delays in treatment robbed my husband of a bit more time and could have allowed us to celebrate our anniversary with our family.

I have heard so many similar stories of neglect during the last year that I would seriously urge you to rethink your practices in dealing with other illnesses should there be another outbreak. I feel the treatment my husband received was shameful and unnecessary and void of human compassion.

I am writing this because in the midst of my grief I cannot stop thinking about how he was treated in hospital and hope that by writing it down I may get some peace and perhaps stop it from happening to someone else in the future.