"Issues in pregnancy care after loss of my first baby"

I lost my first baby at 20 weeks after a car crash in March 2020.  I fell pregnant with my second quite soon after.

The very first page of my maternity notes states I had a previous loss. I took an extra step and placed a sticker on the front of my green notes. Still at every appointment I found I was asked "is this your first baby"?

I feel that all of the staff involved in pregnancy care should (a) take more time to read the notes in front of them and (b) they need to ask the question in a different way.

Why are they asking? I had a baby, she was born dead. Did I have experience caring for a baby? No. Did I have experience giving birth? Yes. Asking the question in such an offhand manner can really trigger loss for mums.

After the birth of my second baby I received no follow-ups with a midwife until I asked for one 13 days later and even then it was rushed and from across the room. I saw a breastfeeding specialist for his checks but no actual appointments with my midwife to check on my wellbeing or give advice about caring for my newborn.