"Poor Mental Health Care"

I've been under the cmht for over 14 years, I have a serious mental illness. I've always had pretty good care, even through the first lockdown, but my care since last October has been really poor. 

In January my care coordinator turned up 2 hours late, I was just leaving the house to attend an appointment I couldn't cancel. I later found out from a member of the out of hours team that this had been documented as a full visit and I was well, it wasn't & I wasn't.

7 weeks ago my care coordinator came to see me at home, and said I was quiet & withdrawn & they were worried about me. They made a plan with me to ring me on Wed & Fri & if I was still struggling they would then put a plan in place for our of hours to contact me over the weekend, that was the last time I heard from this person. 

Since then my support workers have put in complaints but heard anything.

Two weeks ago one of my support workers emailed Northland's again as it was Friday & they concerned about me. Someone from duty team rang me that day at 450pm. They asked what I had done that day and what plans I had for that evening. He then asked me to rate my mood and risk to myself on a scale of 0 to 10, 0 being the lowest, I answered 3. He said that was low & then told me to have a good weekend before hanging up.

Again no contact since.

Ive always had a good relationship with mental health services but I've lost that, I'm scared of them knowing how I'm doing because if they continue to let me down it will have an even more negative effect on my already fragile mental health.

I'm holding things back from my support workers, I've never done this, but again I am sure they will tell cmht and if they ignore me or provide poor care over the phone it will have a negative effect on my mental health.

I'm angry because other people are saying I deserve care but cmht haven't acted like I do.