"Weight and Chronic Pain Management"

As a woman with three children, it has always been important to me that I am able to successfully be a part of their lives. I suffer from several prolapsed discs (neuropathy, mobility and cognitive impairment), there has been no referral regarding MS or any other conditions and I have pain managed via Gabapentin. It's not ideal, as it really only masks the symptoms. 

Part of this is potentially due to the fact that I am classed as morbidly obese. At 5'11 (roughly, damage to discs may have altered this) and 25 stone (ish) I've never been at an ideal weight. Any time I seek help, my weight is mentioned. Ever single time. Including the most recent conversation via a phone call  to the pain clinic, whose final assessment was to lose weight and continue taking medication. As you may imagine for me this is disheartening, depressing and frankly, useless. 

The idea that weight loss has never been attempted or even addressed in my opinion is  insulting and reminds me of the stereotypes of those who are overweight. Not to mention the inherent judgment that I feel appears to proceed with all conversations even before I've begun to speak. While perhaps not truly a cultural problem it is a stigma that persists wherever I go - and not solely for myself but others as well. 

Over time, I have attempted calorie-controlled diets, restricted plans, and other well known diet plans. These were successful but not for the long-term as a permanent solution, given the process involves not eating until you approach your ideal weight - which, again, I have never been at any point in my life, excepting potentially early childhood. 

With a family history of the same, along with a heritage that files me under the high-risk factors associated with type 2 diabetes, being overweight, my age, and also that I have black Caribbean heritage, all increase my concerns. Sadly, for some reason, I do not qualify for any help with respect to surgical options which I have been informed are my only remaining choice. Nor do I have access to the kinds of money that will allow me to access it privately. 

As one of those who fall into the category of failing to be quite 'sick' enough, it is a difficult decision to believe could ever be acceptable.  I feel it would be better to offer me help now, before further conditions, which cost millions - according to the recent data reported across the NHS - to treat and manage, or even to provide the means of a way for those like myself to fund that treatment with some financial help. Being able to support the NHS is not a problem for me but at the moment I need something of the same kind of support and consideration in return. 

So, can anyone help me? Is there any recourse available to someone like me? And if not, why is that?