"Giving birth and after care"

I gave birth to my son in August 2020. During labour I was in a lot of pain and could not get up of the bed or even kneel on the bed as I was getting really bad pains in my stomach and back. No one could explain why I was getting the stomach pains.   I can only assume my son was spine to spine as I was not told.

I pushed for 2hrs and 44 minutes in total. I needed an episiotomy in the end. The midwives did listen to me as I did not want the forceps unless it was a last resort. My son was born with the cord round his neck twice. However he did not have any complications as a result of this, and the midwives were very empathetic. My main issue comes with the aftercare. I was not given advice on how to care for my episiotomy or where it was etc. It ended up tearing. I was sent back to the hospital by the midwife who visited the house.

I was prescribed antibiotics and told to continue breastfeeding-the antibiotics were so strong and did not agree with my baby’s stomach. He was in so much pain. I am not sure if they helped to contribute to his reflux which he developed. I was advised that my stitches had tore but would heal on their own - in my mind this meant it would heal shut. It wasn’t until I was at the doctors weeks later regarding a polyp discovered during pregnancy that the doctor explained what had happened.

I have been left with an episiotomy which has healed open. I have cried a lot and feel mutilated. I have been seen by a few doctors and a private consultant all who tell me it looks okay. However I still have granulation from the stitches so it is very clear to see where it should be closed from. I feel extremely down, the pain from the episiotomy tearing had a massive impact on my ability as a mother and on my mental health.

I had to go to physio where it was found I was over tightening my pelvic floor to lift up off the split stitches. I am waiting to be seen again this time by an nhs gynaecologist. I want to be restitched. I would have done anything to get my son delivered safely but there were improvements to be made and I don’t feel the nhs should leave me with an open episiotomy cut even if the skin has healed over   and with continuing pain down the back of my leg.