"My mental health"

Been trying to get a change of psychiatrist for ages now. Anytime I’ve asked my Gp to write to them they always reject it. I’ve now had to get an advocacy worker to write a formal letter asking for a change in doctor as I feel there has been a breakdown in communication. Anytime I’ve had a phone consultation with them recently it ends up with an argument and me in tears for hours later. I’m tired of telling them how I feel when they  just disregard what I’m feeling.

When I tell them I’m suicidal they just say that’s my choice. I have EUPD and I am very impulsive which they know.   They  just continue to say the risk is very high with you. I had 2 hospital admissions due to me overdosing, I was in itu and I was just released home after this. I felt I should have been kept in the hospital to get help and feel better.

I’ve been struggling for over a month now, I’ve been given a CPN only because social services intervened because of how many police reports they had about me within weeks. I know when I am taken off the adults vulnerable protection order the CPN will no doubt disappear. I find it very hard opening up to new people because of my bad relationships with my psychiatrist and previous CPNs. Therefor I don’t find it very beneficial to me because I know she was only assigned because of social services. I am still low and very suicidal and don’t really know what to do. I feel like I am hitting a brick wall every way I turn.