"St Helens Home Treatment Team"

After being under St. Helens home treatment team quite a few times this year after having multiple hospital admissions to an inpatient ward. I contacted them when I was in a crisis on Saturday. 

I am under St. Helens  recovery team and they only work week days until 5pm so out of hours I have been told to ring the home treatment team should I be in a crisis. 

I rang them approximately 10.30am where a lady answered and after me asking would it be possible for someone to come out and see me today she asked why. I can’t discuss much in my home environment therefore I just explained that I don’t feel safe and have urges to end my life but I want to prove that I am wanting help and reaching out. 

She got my details up on their computer and said -oh yes I recognise your name. We are not a crisis service and you can’t just expect us to drop everything and fit you in when our staff have appointments booked in.

This made me feel so guilty for even ringing and for reaching out for help. I was then questioning why I even rang them. I told them -I’ve been told by my care coordinator to contact you should I be in crisis and the home treatment team know me’-she raised her voice and now was shouting at me very abrupt saying -you have to have have been referred by your care coordinator and because you are not under us we won’t be coming out to see you.

I felt completely hopeless and the urges were so much stronger. I had also only been out of an inpatient unit just short of a week when this took place. 

I then found myself crying to this lady on the phone begging her for help. She then said we might be able to send someone out at 12 but we might not. If you get a call in between now and 12 then it’s to say we can’t see you but if you don’t someone will be put’.

I was very greatful to have someone possibly coming out but I still felt like such an inconvenience and a burden on everyone which was due to how I was spoken too in a moment of crisis. 

 12 o’clock came, then 12.30 then 1pm and still nobody had turned up to see me and I had no phone call. I am an extremely anxious person so waiting for someone heightens these feelings which home treatment know. I also understand there is sometimes a perfectly reasonable explanation as to why they are late such as they had a crisis at their last appointment or the traffic etc. 

I rang home treatment team just to see if someone was still coming and they said we have no idea why nobody hasn’t turned up yet give them a bit longer which I did and still nobody was here. Due to my anxiety I rang again and cancelled the call out because i was getting extremely worked up and distressed just sat waiting and watching for them from a window. They never batted an eyelid at the fact I said I was suicidal and was so distressed over the phone and was happy for me to be left. 

This isn’t the first time something like this has happened with St. Helens home treatment team and now I have completely lost all trust in them and probably wouldn’t contact them out of hours now should I find myself in another crisis. They made me feel so invalid and worthless. No service or professional  should make you worse and be so inconsiderate at a time of desperation.