"Fear of going back into hospital"

At the beginning of August I had a fall and broke several bones. I had my arm in a sling and spent 11 days in hospital. I was given morphine and when I was discharged I was given morphine to take at home. This caused extreme constipation and developed into overspill diarrhoea. I was taken back to the ED by ambulance on Friday at the end of August. After examination I was sent home at 3.15am and told to take laxatives. I only had on my nightwear and dressing gown. The condition worsened and the pain was intolerable.

On the Monday I was again taken to hospital by ambulance and spent almost 12 hours in the ED. I was eventually put into a cubicle. At some point a staff member (nurse?) Came in and told me to sit on the commode, which I did. After a couple of minutes I began to feel faint. Sweat was running down my face and my body was cold and clammy. I asked the nurse if I could get up and the nurse said no, that I had to stay there. At this point I started to cry and told them that I was going to faint. The nurse then said that I could get up, then passed me a toilet roll and told me to clean myself. Having one arm in a sling I needed the other to hold onto something to support myself so I told the nurse that I couldn’t do it. I was the  told that I had to because I wouldn’t have them to do it for me when I went home. I managed a very cursory wipe but knew I wasn’t clean. The nurse then handed me a pair of padded pants and told me to put them on. Keeping in mind my broken bones, it meant that I could not hold onto anything to steady myself and would have to stand on one leg. Once again I said I couldn’t do this but they insisted.

Unfortunately one of my toes hooked on the pants and the nurse bent down and unhooked it. That was the only assistance they gave me. I was then told by the same staff member to walk the length of the trolley. My legs were shaky I was feeling faint and weak and said I could not do it. Again they insisted. I held the bar on the trolley with my good arm and took tiny steps sideways and managed to get to the end of the trolley to which I was told see, You can do it when you try & was then informed that I was going home.

My husband had been outside the cubicle throughout all this and he ran to get the doctor. The doctor came into the cubicle and told the nurse that if I wasn’t well enough I was not going home, the nurse made a comment about the fact I had opened my bowels and that was what I had come in for.

I feel this nurse had not checked the reason for my admission because my bowels had been operating for three or four days non-stop. I had no control whatsoever. At 4 am I was admitted to the CDU ward. At 4.30 pm approximately, I was transferred to a care home for respite care. I was in the care home for 10 days. For the first three days I was kept in bed and then for the next few days needed the help of two nurses for support.

I have been into hospital numerous times in my life and have always been treated kindly. This experience has left me with a fear of having to go back into hospital.