"Mental Health"

I generally don’t like using the word depressed as it seems to get banded about for anything nowadays however over the past few years I’ve had several issues affect my personal life such as sudden redundancy resulting in my family losing the family home and having to find somewhere else to live and also being diagnosed with a medical condition (NEAD) which there is no treatment for and being discharged from the NHS to get on with life as it is.  This has affected my mental health for a couple of years and after many conversations/argument with family and friends I finally plucked up the courage to phone the GP for an appointment.

So after waiting 24 hours for my appointment I arrive at the GP obviously anxious about the conversation which is going to take place. My appointment is 9.10am and I sit there for over 40 mins waiting getting more anxious by the minute. I’m eventually called in and as expected I burst into tears and start to tell the doctor about my recent issues and how I feel very low etc.

The doctor listens as is expected, sympathises and ask if I know about where to go get help. I tell her I’ve had a look online and couldn’t really see anything apart from support groups etc for specific issues relating to drugs use/alcohol abuse/children support groups etc. So she prints me off a mental health fact sheet which directs me to the local Community Hospital which runs a drop in centre once a week on a Wed afternoon for 2 hours and says to attend here and someone may be able to help offer counselling services.  

She asks if I’ve ever had thoughts of wanting to hurt myself etc. I answer no as I have kids and would never want to leave them as having known families that have dealt with this type of loss I would never want to put my family through that. She mentions anti-depressants but as I have other medical issues she feels that she would need to ask my consultant for advise from the hospital before making any decisions regarding this. Lastly she asks me if when leaving the surgery could I complete a health questionnaire which has about 10 questions on it asking things about sleeping, eating, thoughts and general interest in life etc and to hand this in to reception so that they can see how I’m feeling and then make a follow up appointment in 4 weeks time to see how I’m feeling then!

Well this was the extent of the help I was offered! So after working up the courage to attend a GP and open up about how I’m feeling, I’m told I’m in the wrong place but I  can attend the hospital on a Wednesday afternoon only between 1-3pm if I want, complete a paper questionnaire and then come back in 4 weeks! As you can imagine I thanked the GP for their time and left the surgery, not completing the questionnaire or making a follow up appointment. Some people may feel that this was stupid and I should have done what the GP asked but by this stage I knew no help was going to be offered from the GP.

So now I need to decide if I want to go through the whole process again and work up the courage to attend a drop in clinic one Wednesday afternoon? Now this could be next Wed or never depending on when or if I pluck up the courage again. To top it off and only time will tell if I’m right or wrong but I bet there aren’t any triggers in place for checking up on this type of appointment at the GPs and no one will ever know that I didn’t complete the questionnaire or make that  follow up appointment???

Plus let’s be honest I was only 1 of the many appointments that GP saw today and I’ll have left her thoughts the moment her next appointment walked in which isn’t their fault but there needs to be a standard/duty of care somewhere surely? This isn’t acceptable as I could be at a stage where I’ve finally asked for help however none has basically been given and so I decide that I’ve done everything in my power and been let down so decide to put an end to it and do the unimaginable. Luckily I’m not at that stage but the next person who asks for help might not be!  People say all the time after suicide oh if only they had asked for help etc well if this is the help that is offered then I’m genuinely not surprised at some of the actions people take.