"First ever therapy sessions"

As a people-pleaser in a relationship with a narcissist, and having a father who had walked out when I was a baby but had just come back into my life - along with 2 sisters I didn’t know I had, I was feeling overwhelmed and stuck. 

I knew what the problems were and why they were happening, and I’d tried to improve my situation myself, but it wasn’t working, making me feel increasingly useless. 

I didn’t want to bore my friends - repeating myself with the same old issues, so I need another solution. 

I thought I should be strong enough to resolve things myself, and I didn’t feel THAT bad so wasn’t sure if I was ‘bad enough’ to deserve/require counselling, but I knew I wanted things to change. 

 

So, I filled in the online form and within a few weeks found myself sitting in front of a counsellor. 

I was so nervous, I had to tell myself it was just a job interview as, sadly, I quite like those. 

But Ian was just brilliant and after a quick cry, I felt totally at ease.  

We talked about where I was and why, and he pointed out things from my past that I didn’t realise had had such a big effect on me. 

For the first time I questioned why I always put myself last with friends, family and even strangers. Ian helped me to see that I deserve to put myself first and do things (or not do things) to make myself happy. 

Ian suggested strategies –  small, achievable steps – and they work! I’ve increasingly started saying no to things without feeling guilty and I’ve taken up hobbies that I really enjoy. 

Even though there is absolutely no pressure from Ian, seeing him every week encourages me to keep moving forward and every achievement inspires me to keep progressing. 

I am not ‘fixed’ but thanks to him, I feel a lot lighter and happier, and have started thinking about myself differently.  

I really can’t thank him enough and would recommend anyone to look into counselling BEFORE you feel too bad – the earlier you go, the better.