"iAPTS"

I was called for a second assessment at iAPTS Enfield. When I was informed by the therapist that they wanted to make another assessment I was devastated, I have been waiting months for an appointment and to start therapy. I had chronic anxiety and a lot of insurmountable debt problems which had built up out of control as a result of my not being able to open letters. I had the first assessment in early September – I had an unavoidable legal appointment three weeks later. I talked about this during the assessment and asked to make sure I didn’t get an appointment for that day. I also asked the therapist to contact me by email as I don’t often answer my phone. This accommodation was not granted at all. I was in a terrible state frightened of everything and just shutting myself away I was not coping at all, my anxiety was spiralling out of control. I received an appointment, through the post, not by the end of the week as had been assured I would but the following week and the appointment was for the same day as my legal appointment. I had to call to rearrange the appointment and asked if it was possible to bring the therapy session forward as it would be good for me before I went to the legal appointment. I later received a call from my therapist who told me that the appointment was not for therapy but for another assessment. I questioned this, why would I need another assessment, was I being refused therapy, why was I not getting access to therapy?

Despite general opinion of people who have mental health difficulties, that they have a low brain capacity it is not true. As I had not got the answers from the therapist I conducted my own research and visited iAPTS web site and found the questions that therapists ask in assessments along with other boxes indicating possible identifiers (maybe not the correct word to use). I thought it looked pretty straightforward and clear to follow. After going over a lot of documents about NICE guidance and a five year plan I could not understand what the problem was, why was I not being given any treatment?

The day before my legal appointment, my doctor recognised that I have depression as well as chronic anxiety, with recurrent panic attacks. I also have COPD and get panicky when I can’t breathe. I had bought something off ebay and my daughter and I went to collect it. I rang the bell and started to have a panic attack. It wasn’t the COPD I hadn’t walked more than five steps from my car to the door. My daughter started to worry, I didn’t realise I was having a panic attack until she said why are you breathing like that and shaking?

My second(re-booked) assessment appointment was two weeks later. I told the therapist that I had been on the iAPTS website and seen the assessment questions. I asked why it had been so difficult to assess me. I wasn’t upset and my tone was conversational. This person just got up and walked out of the room, without saying a word to me.

Now, having been reassured by the senior therapist, who had stepped in after the therapist walked out, that they would find me another therapist. I got the bus home and couldn’t stop crying throughout the 45 minute journey. I am so depressed I turned off my phone and crawled back into my hiding place. Where can I get some help? How can I access therapy? I hate living like this I want to get better, get back to my normal working life. I know I need help I just don’t know from where I can get it.