"I was told suicide is selfish"

Had an appointment yesterday which i had been waiting for for a month. After having an episode of extreme depression and an attempt on my life, i then had a completely manic state of extreme elation. I thought i was vibrating and had to sit in a dark room, in silence, for 2 days. I also hallucinated situations and couldn't tell reality from my brain. I couldn't even talk. Classic bipolar signs i was told. I researched, a lot. My GP agreed so i was referred. This is what was said to me. "You're too old to develop bipolar now." I'm 33. I know 2 other people with bipolar. One diagnosed at 30 and one at 32. As far as i was aware, bipolar does occur from childhood but uaually triggered by an event. I explained i had some serious health conditions recently, incurable ones, nearly died, was in a coma and a death of a very close friend. She told me i was wrong. That my mania episode wasn't manic enough, that i should be "mindful" when i feel low and be happy, i probably have a personality disorder which there would be no treatment for and that i ahould feel guilty for contemplating suicide. She asked "how would your mother feel?" To which i replied "If you were told you would be in agony and have a debilitating illness for the next 30years. Unable to work, leave the house or even the bed for weeks. Have no life and suffer. Or you could end your misery now, what would you do?"

Im appalled at such treatment to be honest and for my own mental healths sake, i will be following all this up.