"The power of listening to people’s stories"

Tramways Medical Centre.

A couple of weeks ago I had to book an appointment at my GP surgery to talk about a severe dip I’d had in my mental health. My heart sank when the receptionist told me my usual GP was on leave and I would have to see a locum doctor, Dr. Atkins. I’ve had interactions with medical professionals about my mental health for the past twenty years and through that time have always found it very difficult having to speak to strangers about things which are deeply personal. Sometimes these interactions have left me feeling as if I haven’t been believed, as If I’ve been rushed, as if I’ve been over-reacting and even some occasions as if I wasn’t a valuable human being. This appointment turned out to be the best conversation I feel I have ever had with a GP about my mental health which is why I feel it is so important to share this story.

After initially sitting and crying for a few minutes I managed to get my words out about what had been going on, where I felt I was and what I thought needed to happen. The first thing Dr. Atkins did was show genuine human compassion for me and talk about how sorry he was I was feeling this way and how difficult he could see it was for me. He then sat back in his chair and asked if I was sure I felt we could discuss everything I needed to and that if I wasn’t he was happy to take more time to discuss recent events and we could involve mental health services if I wanted. I haven’t had a GP ask me this before and it made me feel that he was taking me seriously, wasn’t trying to rush me and also me made me feel a little more in control of the situation as he was offering me options.

We continued to talk about what was happening and after he was sure I’d finished relating everything Dr. Atkins raised the fact that he had never met me before. He talked about how that sometimes made it difficult when making decisions about people’s mental health and their safety, but that based upon everything I was telling him he was happy to be guided by me in terms of what I felt I needed. This made me feel that he trusted me and understood I knew a fair amount about my own mental health and how to manage it, I also felt that we were having a conversation as equals as he chose to discuss with me the factors he had to consider when thinking about my care.

He had a direct but not-judgmental line of questioning and accepted my answers, asking me if I felt I still had insight, had I thought about self-harming and was I thinking about suicide. I’ve had these questions asked of me many times and have often been scared to give the true answer or felt ashamed because of the attitude of the medical professional. This was not the case here and I was readily able to discuss these difficult topics openly and honestly feeling that I was being believed and not viewed with suspicion.

After we had decided upon some plans for my care and the consultation ended I got up to leave, Dr. Atkins also stood up and asked if he could shake my hand. As he shook my hand he told me he wanted me to know he thought I was incredibly courageous and brave for being able to sit in front of him and talk about the things we had just discussed. He told me that however my illness affected me it would never be able to mask who I truly was, he could see my personality shining out of me and that I was genuinely, from the bottom of his heart, an inspiration to him.

Those kind words from one human being to another lifted something inside me at a time when I needed some kindness, of course those words didn’t take away what was happening or help treat my symptoms, but I walked out of the surgery feeling a little better. Someone being genuinely kind and taking the time to acknowledge my strengths helped me tap into that feeling of hope which disappears when I’m struggling with my mental health. I really believe this is one of the most valuable experiences I have ever had in healthcare and truly highlights the power of listening to people’s stories, showing compassion and above all remembering to be ‘human’.