"I don’t know how to break out of this trap"

the police and paramedics were called by other people in the house and I was taken by the police and held in custody. All the time I was in the cells I was denied my medication, denied the fact that I was even on medication.

When I was released from custody I was told the mental health team would phone me in between 2-4 hours. I waited and waited, in the end I called them only to be told they had no record of calls from the police. I just felt so deflated, let down and desperate I attempted to take my life again, this time locking myself in the bathroom.

I came round with someone pulling me up, they then banged my head on the door. Not realising it was a police officer I head butted the person to get them to stop, another officer standing behind me forced me onto the floor and started to kick me in the face. 3 other people were in the house at the time, the police blocked their view so they could not see what the police were doing to me.

I find myself in a Catch 22 situation, I have been told that I will be given therapy when my mental health is more stable but I need therapy to stabilise my mental health. I don’t know how to break out of this trap.