"Helped me find my way again"

After experiencing a traumatic birth with my 4th baby where I had a major obstetrics haemorrhage during a c-section then later that day my little one had to go to NICU due to severe Jaundice, I  then developed a blood infection and then sepsis. I  was extremely unwell and even before hospital discharge it was advised that trauma counselling may be helpful for me.

I met Dr Emma. She explained to me about the service and about how referral takes place.  After several weeks at home it was decided with my Health Visitor to do a referral as I was having such a hard time processing and dealing with the birth mentally. I first had a phone call With Dr Ciara to see if the service met my needs and she gave me time explain all that had happened and how it was affecting my life. 

I was then given a face-to-face appointment with Dr Emma and instantly she tried to help me feel at ease. Counselling isn't something I've ever done before but she did everything she could to make me feel comfortable. I actually find it hard to put into words how amazing Emma was. I felt like an imposter sitting there that, like I was wasting her time, and she explained so well to me how trauma affects us and never stopped reassuring me.

She gave me faith that I was in the right place and it would benefit me and she was so right . She let me talk so openly and validated my feelings and gave me coping mechanisms and ways to process what had happened . I often took her advice on the best way to approach things as I had complete trust in her.

We did some cognitive behaviour therapy some EMDR and can definitely say there has been so much improvement regarding how I process the trauma and my feelings. I no longer have nightmares, panic attacks  and whilst I'm still learning every day to cope, it no longer consumes me like it did before, it doesn't feel like am reliving those moments all the time. I accept it's happened but I no longer blame myself, which was a major factor for me  and this progress is all because of Emma and the MNPI service .

This has been such a huge life changing thing to of happened to me but  I know I wouldn't be coping anywhere near as well if it hadn't been for Emma. I genuinely cannot put into words what she has done for me and will be forever grateful the MNPI service is there to help woman just like me.

If I had a negative to say it would be that when the room changed.  The first room given as replacement was hot and dark, a bit enclosed feeling as no windows, which doesn't feel good when you're already feeling trapped in a nightmare. The second room was in NICU, which was pretty traumatic to go back to, however Emma did everything she could to help reassure me, she told me days in advance so I could mentally prepare  and met me outside to take me to the room every week. This might sound trivial but it meant the world to me and without Emma's support I don't think I could of done it as its such an intense feeling being in NICU and to go back there after all that happens is far from ideal .

She has taught me so much about myself and I've learned things I never would of known but most importantly I realise what I went through was huge and life changing and that it's OK to give myself time to acknowledge the impact and allow myself to feel and not blame myself or belittle myself.

The appointments were emotionally challenging but Emma always went at my pace and didn't ever push me more than I could handle. She never judged me and always listened to me and I truly cannot thank this service enough and especially Emma  You honestly have no idea how much you've helped me find my way again and will be forever grateful to Emma and the MPI service.