"My story about not able to share my feeling"

My story started over 3 years ago when I lost my dad who was everything to me.

When I lost my dad, I had to be the strong one who wasn't allowed to show any emotions or cry, as my mum and elder sister and two younger brothers were in pieces after death of dad. People around me stopped me for showing any emotions so I had to form a wall inside where I wasn't showing any emotions. In that 3 years, I have tried one time to cry in front of family and saw how they got so see me like that and it affects them so i decided not cry or break down front of them. I will always listen to my family's pain and inside will keep my own pain.

Still, one day, I had a break down at work where i cried in the office and my manager was there, listened to me cry and advised me to get therapy. Which i have, I once went through therapy the year after my dad passing but at the time i wasn't full got over the feeling of all the responsibility to stop my feeling. This time during therapy, along with dealing with feelings and having my health problems, I have meet Ian who listened and helped me go through this process easily.

At first it hard to talk about feelings and be able to express my feelings without letting anyone down or hurting them but the more I talk the more easy it has become for me. During the time, I have learnt to take time for myself and the session made me find a way to deal my problem and letting emotions go without feeling i can't. 

I will recommend for everyone when need it better get the feeling out then keeping inside. Great big thank you to my therapist Ian.