"The Death of My Son."

My 30 year old son passed away at the end of 2021.He died of Covid in hospital.

It was a terrible shock when we received a call saying'something terrible has happened'

We had called an ambulance  because he couldn't breath properly.

We were told,'We'll take care of him'.

This is the worst thing ever to happen to my husband and I.Its like a joke gone wrong,its not real,it must be a dream.The pain is unbearable. Over 2 years later,its still unbearable.

Your baby,your little boy, your big boy,your adult son.A Daddy.Gone.

I told him,"I love you" every day.Because I did.He was Beautiful,funny,kind,loving and more.

Then hes suddenly been taken away from you,his little girl,his siblings,his family and friends. How cruel is that?How unfair is that?

Our lives are over.Things will never be the same.We will never be the same.

Family and friends have been amazing. People who we thought were our friends have said or done nothing.They are not my friends anymore. If someone doesn't know what to say, then say "I don't know what to say."Don't just say nothing.

It hurts.

I have struggled,am still struggling.

Including my Grandchildren.

I did drink a lot at first,now I don't.

It was hurting my husband.

Talking helps,it breaks your heart but afterwards you feel a little lighter.

I felt like I was being punished for something, that it was my fault.

I still do.

There is more but I cant think.