"My life then and now"

Growing up was hard , i suffered mental abuse and physical abuse from a young age till i was an adult ,not wanting to tell no one what happened to me, always locking everything bad up in the back of my head, i use to tell myself not to think about it, but then i would get a memory about something , i would get a panic attack, it took a while to get control back again, i tried talking about it to people nothing came out , i did not feel i could trust anyone ,i didn't want anyone knowing what i went through, i didn'twant them looking at me talking to me about it , ,then i found somethings happened to three people close to me , i did tell my mum when i was in my 40s, it was a relief to to open that door a little, then i had a new partner i felt i could open that door a little bit more

I went to therapy after my step dad died, my emotions were something i couldn't understand , the back of my head was hurting, i couldn't cope anymore. My therapist was fantastic, he listened to me and spoke so softly, he helped me understand my life from then and now, explaining what the feelings i was having , the thoughts i had about what happened to me , the back of my head was emptying and i felt more at ease the more i understood what i went through and the feelings i had felt, i was much lighter and happier , i dont let my past torment me anymore, i feel free to enjoy my life with the people i love.

It took a long time ,i am glad had my therapy when i did and want to thank him for all his help with listening and helping me understand , i still will not talk about it to my family but i feel i don't need to bring the past up ,i feel i have laid it to rest.

My therapist gave me my life back by just being there when i needed it, i can't thank him enough, it was the best thing i ever done, i am a different person now, i would recommend if anyone is going through anything and struggling is to get therapy.