"Didn’t feel I could ask for help"

Recently had surgery to repair hernias in lower abdomen. After surgery I told them I needed to pass urine but because of previous bladder surgery I have difficulty passing . The nurse said to go to the toilet, I informed them my legs felt numb. They said there was no reason for this. When I tried to stand I fell to the floor on my bottom, and the nurse began cursing.

Other nurses came and said there was nothing wrong with my legs and to turn over and get up on my knees. I said they must have numbed my abdomen and my upper legs are numb. They disagreed. Could not stand so they had to use a hoist (open back gown and no underwear).

Put back on to a bed . Pain was building up over next hour from urine retention. Buzzed and explained again bladder is damaged and I can’t pass urine. All this time being very mindful to be pleasant and considerate to the fact that I’m not the only patient needing care and I could tell they were starting to see me as difficult.

Had to buzz again as no one came back . Was told that not enough time had passed, surgery 9 am now 6 pm. Nurse came and said I should stand up and go to toilet, I told them I couldn’t, legs were not working properly. Quite unpleasant, said there was no reason for this. Started to get upset now with treatment. Knew legs couldn’t support me. The other nurse who was there when I fell came over. I asked for help to stand, that nurse put out a hand but was told not to, as they'll hurt me. Asked for a chair to pull myself up and support, they said no. Asked if there was a zimmer , told  I hadn’t been assessed so couldn’t get one. Crying by now with frustration and pain.

They wheeled through an open bottom commode which I pulled myself onto and was pushed past other patients with an open back gown and terrified my bottom half was visible below open bottom commode. Sat in toilet for ages trying to desperately pass urine . Pain excruciating. Taken back to bed . Again asking for catheter. Explained it has happened before and I only need help once and I usually can pass after . Was told they have protocols. I understand about infection risk but kept explaining I have bladder damage and the pain is excruciating.

They did a bladder scan and said there was just over 300 ml and wasn’t enough to need help and they would leave it a while. I started to vomit continuously because of the pain and whilst doing so my bladder started to void. I was incontinent and the bed and myself was flooded. Was told I didn't need a catheter now.

Later when night shift came on I asked for help to go to toilet and they gave me a zimmer! I asked for support also because I’d fallen earlier, they said they were told I’d just sat on the floor and if I’d fallen there would have been a report written. I was helped to toilet by staff and zimmer.

Couldn’t sleep, so upset and confused at treatment . Didn’t feel I could ask for help anymore to go to toilet so went myself with zimmer. When turning into toilet left leg gave way and I screamed out as I grabbed door and sink to break my fall. Nurses came and I felt so humiliated as now they looked at me like some kind of fraud.

Called husband and friend in distress. In the morning when new nurse came around and asked how I was I said how unpleasant the whole situation had become and I’d been polite and calm. Was told I did have legs numbed during procedure.

When husband came to pick me up they were unpleasant and said he should have waited and they would have brought me out , but how was he to know this? Had difficulty getting to the car as legs not cooperating.

Now home and just cannot believe this nightmare. Feel traumatised and so disappointed in the treatment by nursing staff. I was put in a very dangerous position. I could have fallen whilst being made to feel like an attention seeker, fraud and inconvenience .