"Ever more determined not to return"

I feel there is a theme on Lotus Assessment Suite of staff remaining in the office the majority of the time, with those who are outside of the office mostly chatting about their shift patterns, other jobs and looking forward to going home. Patients are often waiting a long time for very basic requests; prescribed medication, someone to talk to, an E-cigarette. This leaves patients who are already in a restricted environment lacking control and autonomy to feel embarrassed and ignored, standing and waiting for things which they use as tools to distract or keep themselves safe. 

There is a strange policy of removing people’s bedding and drawing the curtains between the chairs patients sleep on in the morning, even if they are asleep or are taking strong sedatives which means they may need to sleep in the day. This may be relating to sleep hygiene but can feel like both an invasion of privacy and preventing people who’s bodies require rest in crisis from being able to get the sleep their brains need. It means more time sitting very closely to strangers who are also in crisis with little to do and little support. In the multiple admissions I have had to Lotus, I have never met with the psychiatrist or been offered the chance to. Decisions are made in a team meeting with patients often not being told of what those decisions are until much later when it is not possible to talk to those who are in charge of making them. 

I have seen patients be discharged homeless to the street and some in a worse position than when they were admitted, my admissions to lotus have done nothing but make me ever more determined not to return and to get out as quickly as possible. I quickly learnt that honesty about needing more support and being high risk would result in the same outcome as saying what the nurses want to hear and telling them I was safe.