"Reaching out for help"

I lost my mum in January, then in February my daughter was a passenger in a road traffic accident. I felt trapped with all my thoughts of why me, what is going to happen next.

Thankfully, my daughter was not seriously injured but was traumatised. I needed to put grieving for my mum to one side as my daughter needed me. This left me with overwhelming guilt. I had to stop thinking the what if's and focus on the fact I was very lucky that I did not also lose my daughter. She has now returned to college, and we have overcome driving past the scene of the accident. The driver, her friend, is making a good recovery after being critical.

Returning to work also left me anxious and guilty for getting back to a normal routine.

That was when I reached out for help. Reaching out does not mean you are weak, infact the opposite. I was able to speak freely and didn't fear being judged . The GM Bereavement Service helped me unravel my thoughts by recommending journaling . I did not put pen to paper, but I began thinking differently. I knew that my mum would have wanted me to support my daughter and remembered all the gratitude she gave me before her passing. I also accepted that when my mum needed me,I was there. It is still early days and I am not going to punish myself if I have a bad day.

When I returned to work, it was a help to focus on something different Talking to my colleagues was beneficial. I also admitted my thoughts and feelings to family and friends. This has now made me realise that so many people care and want to support me.

Never suffer alone there is help there for when life becomes challenging. Remember you are not a failure but a normal person going through a difficult time. Be kind to yourself and be grateful that people want to guide and support you. Thank you.

One day at a time and I have a long road ahead but I am so glad I am now on the right path in dealing with my emotions with a more positive outlook.