"I felt like I wasn't good enough"

I was in having my baby, I was took to the inpatient ward at Crosshouse maternity where I was having contractions. I was put in a shared room with other patients while in severe pain, I had to fight to get pain relief to help as they were just giving me paracetamol which wasn’t helping. Being in a shared room with other patients going through this pain was very undignified.

After being told I would be checked again to see if I was any more centimetres all the midwife’s were saying different things and not coming back, and everytime I rang the buzzer they were telling me this is normal and to get on with it basically. Finally a lovely midwife came along and checked me after my father expressing how much more pain I was in, and nobody was listening to me the midwife discovered I was 4cm so I should have been down at the Labour suite as I had a planned epidural. I was waiting hours to go down to get my epidural when I should have been down a lot earlier, but nobody bothered to check me again.

I was a first time mum I was scared and didn’t know what I was doing. I was sent back up to the inpatient ward after I had delivered my baby. Knowing I was going back there I was very anxious. Visiting at that ward didn’t start till 10 in the morning, so the midwife’s at the Labour ward held off taking me up until about 20 to ten so my partner could stay with me as it was only 20 mins until visiting time as they could see how anxious I was about going back.

When we got up there a midwife came in to get my notes from the Labour midwife and very abruptly told my partner to leave. I explained could he not stay - it was 10 mins until visiting time. They were very rude and said no and to leave. I found them to be very arrogant to me, and left me in a bed covered in blood for 2 days after me asking for it to be changed as I was too sore to do it myself.

I was left in a ward with other mums. Me only being a first time mum and did not get any help, I asked if my partner could stay to help me for the night as I was new to this and very sore so he could help with the baby as other mums had their partner staying. I was told no, to get on with it. Basically I cried the whole night I was left with my baby as I was so new to this and felt very alone and scared in there.

My experience of having my baby was ruined by this ward and hope I never have to go back there again. The Labour ward was amazing, they were so nice and kind and helped any way they could but the inpatient ward is definitely not a nice ward.  I also had to lie in a bath for 8 hours in pain so I would be alone in a room, as I was very embarrassed  about being in a shared room while in so much pain.

After coming home I had extreme anxiety from that ward as I felt like I wasn’t good enough and because I never got the help I should have had as a first time mum.