"Still affected by my hospital experience"

I was bleeding heavily from my bowel and was taken by ambulance to Scarborough hospital and admitted to AAU.

The bleeding settled until later in the evening when it started again, the nurse wouldn't listen to me when I told her it was worse than before, after a lot of bloody toilet trips I told her I needed to see a doctor.

I was actually screaming as I was so scared -the nurse screamed back at me 'there isn't a doctor available'. She left me in the toilet with a cardboard bed pan so she could see how much blood was in - (a student healthcare assistant even said there was a lot of blood). Anyway the nurse went away and told me to pull the red cord when I wanted to go back to bed. A few minutes later I stood up and just managed to pull the cord- the next thing I saw I was back in bed with a crash team stood over me with a defibrillator at the ready and a dr slapping my chest and face telling me to stay awake.

Then they had to take blood from my groin as they couldn't get it from any other veins it was absolute agony. A doctor phoned my husband at 1am- partly because I was hysterical and told him to come to the hosp- and that they were doing everything they could, they stabilised me then the following day sent me to a different hospital 50 miles away for tests. Which couldn't be done as by the time I got there the bleeding had stopped.

It turned out I shouldn't have even been sent there, anyway I was there for a week whilst waiting to be transferred back to Scarborough. My husband ended up phoning the bed manager himself to find out what was happening.

Anyway, when I eventually got back I was put in a side room on the AAU again - which to be quite honest I would not have put a dog in the room, I did complain - I wouldn't normally but I was past caring so I put on a ward instead, then next day was discharged.

A week later I was back in for a few days with pain discharged the following Monday. I had a colonoscopy the following day. I was rushed back into Scarborough with another massive bowel haemorrhage and ended up with a bowel resection. The ICU staff were fantastic and so were most of the gastro ward nurses.

About a week after surgery I had a pain which I knew wasn't right. For three days I complained about this pain that didn't feel right - I kept being told it was post op pain, It also hurts when I empty my bladder I said -a scan later they found an abscess at the resection site. I had a drain put in. I cannot begin to describe the pain as the drain was put in -even more so when it was removed, I was put on iv antibiotics though on the third day I missed a couple of doses - they had been scribbled off my drugs chart by accident.

Anyway that's my story, the first time I've told it. I cannot tell you how much it has affected me even now - over 2 years I have nightmares and panic attacks. I am terrified every time I open my bowels and the thought of going into hospital terrifies me - though I have been transferred to the care of a different hospital. This experience has really knocked my confidence and trust in everyone and everything.