"lack of thought in the care of sufferers of depression"

I suffer from severe chronic depression and anxiety. Life is a daily struggle but I have been fortunate to access creative sessions run by the social inclusion and wellbeing service of Nottinghamshire healthcare trust for a number of years. These sessions are my lifeline. As well as giving me a brief respite from my symptoms, they provide valuable social contact, peer support, a regular and achievable goal and the only positive aspect in my life.

On Friday, I was informed I was to be discharged from the service. No reason was given. I assume it was either a cost cutting exercise or to massage the "success" rate of the service. I was offered the token panacea of "support" and "signposting" to other activities but, which from experience, I know do not cater as well for those of us with mental health problems. I was devastated at the news. I had been presented with a ‘fait a complis’ without anyone discussing the state of my health beforehand. In fact, I was already very low, struggling to leave the house, and seeing my psychiatrist every four weeks, facts I pointed out to the poor soul who had been tasked with passing on the judgement from above.

On Monday, I received a phone call saying not to worry, the social inclusion and wellbeing service hadn't realised I was still seeing my psychiatrist so I wouldn’t be discharged after all. So that's alright then.

No it isn't.

You see, I was absolutely devastated to have my lifeline withdrawn.

I spent that weekend planning how I was going to end my life. The one thing I had that made life worth living had been taken away. Not only that, I felt that my reaction to that loss was stupid and pathetic. I used to be a normal, competent person, now I'm an idiot who can't find another art group to go to.

The week before, my care coordinator was supposed to meet me at the psychiatrist appointment. He never showed up and hasn't been in touch since. The siwb service couldn't be bothered to get in touch to see what state I was in, before making decisions about my future.

In the space of a week the (in)actions of so-called professionals have made me feel worthless and knocked me down in to the pit of despair.