"Ashamed"

I'm ashamed to even call myself a patient here, I am currently in the process of looking for a different surgery... you are better off diagnosing yourself as most of the doctors have no idea what your talking about, I sometimes even wonder if I'm speaking clear English? There only two good doctors there, but cant seem to get an appointment with them, & when you do have an appointment with a doctor you don't want you might as well consult yourself and train the doctor in front of you, even when I was begging for help due to homelessness and mental health issues the only option was to take tablets that I couldn't even afford and given a number to call if I felt suicidal, I felt suicidal after that appointment realising that nobody actually cares! I informed the doctor that I cant afford medication, and there was no alternative plan of action apart from me suffering, it cost nothing to be kind and all I wanted was help and advice, but all the doctor wanted to do was rush me out of the appointment so they could get home in time and not let the clinic over run ... something that I didn't have ....