"Can't rely on doctor for help"

I have been a subject of severe depression from about the age of 14. I have always felt so worthless, emotional, distant from others and paranoid and generally just fed up of life, society, and its rules altogether. At this time I was self harming. So I went to my doctor at the time and opened up about how bad I felt and was simply told it was just hormones and puberty and that I would get over it.. You are only young and guillable, you think OK sure maybe. But I was given a counsellors number which to be honest I was not at all keen for but I was desperate for help. So feeling like a stupid wee girl being told my emotions where just hormones and puberty I reluctantly called the counsellors  number and they took all of my details and told me there was a huge waiting list, so I may have had to wait for some time. Time went passed and I tried to call up and ask for help but they just kept telling me the waiting list was long. Well I’ll tell you, I’m 21 now and still waiting for this bloody phone call! When you already have no hope and your own doctor doesn’t help and even the counsellor doesn’t get back to you, what do you do? What hope do you have?

Anyway, years later at now age 21, my life is actually fine. I had my own space with my partner and an apprenticeship. Nothing was apparently wrong in my life but deep down there was and I was constantly on a depressive rollercoaster. I got to a point where I felt so low that I had actually planned an out.. 

Me and my partner were both fed up of life and its misery and decided we had enough and had planned out our own death. I was scared of dying but we needed out of this world and away from the people in it.

For some reason one day I thought I must go back to the doctor and try again even after all previous years of failed attempts. I felt so low I took some time off work because I suddenly just lost the ability to speak to people due to stress.

I went to a new doctor and told them and I almost was crying when I was speaking because you are opening up to a stranger about all of your feelings, praying for their support and help, basically putting your heart in their hands. Do you know what they said? I can’t be depressed, I don’t LOOK depressed. And plus you don’t WANT to be seen as depressed because do you know that your insurance ratings go up for holidays and things so you don’t want that

Well I was in disbelieve. I had actually just basically gave the doctor my last breath and they just ranted on about insurance ratings! 

So my take from this is if I suffer from depression I can't rely on my doctor for help. I am not saying all doctors are like my experiences but you can understand that I have lost all hope. Who knows what will happen now. But if there was a doctor who cared then maybe things would be different.