"Gastroscopy with throat anaesthesia and sedative"

I was very nervous about having a tube down my throat as just having dental work done is quite stressful. I was told that with the throat spray I would not feel the tube in my throat and the sedative would make me drowsy and unconcerned about what was being done. If only that had been true!

Once they gave me the sedative, I felt more wide awake than I had before and just as nervous. The doctor attempted to put the tube down and as soon as it touched the back of my tongue I'd had enough. I took out the mouthpiece and told them I was completely awake and aware of what they were doing. As far as I could see, the sedative had had no effect at all. I asked if they could give me more of it and try again, but was told they were not allowed to because of my age. I had not been told previously that I would be given a reduced dose, even though I had expressed extreme anxiety and said firmly that I did not want to be aware of the procedure or have any memories of it.

I feel let down that people knew I would have some degree of awareness and that they had been groundlessly upbeat about the supposed wonders of sedation, which turned out to be anything but true. It seems cruel that nobody explained that I would be given a reduced dose and I was left to discover in a rather nasty way what the short-comings were. This was attempted yesterday morning and I have barely stopped thinking about it. I have cried a lot, too. I am 70 years old and I do not think my life should be like this. I do not know what will happen next.