"Mixed care for my dad"

My dad underwent a routine gall bladder operation on the in June, everything went well with the operation. Saw my dad that night a bit uncomfortable but looking forward to getting home the next day. Anaesthetist popped in and said everything had went well and was happy. Phoned early in the morning to hear that dad didn't have a good night blood pressure kept dropping would see us when we went in.

Next time I saw my dad Thursday, he was already sedated and on a ventilator with a large swelling, heading back to theatre to find out what was going on. Not sure if dad was going to make it.Surgeon came to let us know halfway through that dad had had a massive bleed losing over 40%, at that point not sure what had caused it, we were told it might have been caused by the surgery when removing the gall bladder or a clip.

Dad was taken to ICU where he was cared for for every second, the nurses on that ward will not be forgotten for all they did for my dad, the care and attention and in allowing us to stay with dad. Dad was taken back to theatre a third time on the Friday to check the bleeding had stopped and to close the wound. Everything went as planned and dad was taken back to ICU. Dad still sedated and on ventilator.Mum noticed later that day that something wasn't right on dads left side, his arm and mentioned it.His temperature was high all weekend. We were concerned dad had sepsis as he had had it the year before. Everyone we came into contact with we mentioned this. Cultures bloods taken regular to be checked. A CT scan was to get done but dad was to poorly to be moved from ICU. The scan finally got done on the Wednesday and we found out dad had had a massive stroke affecting all his left side, we were told dad wouldnt leave the hospital, may never talk. The dr told us the the next day they would take dad off the ventilator and to be prepared, anything could happen that dad might die. Family came to be with dad, my dad the fighter rallied, breathing on his own. Looked after by ICU angels.

Early next morning my husband and I saw my dad propped up, eyes open .. no words enough to explain the feeling. Dad was able to say he loved me, reassure me and ask how everyone was. Stroke had affected dads speech but no doubting what dad said. Dad was so scared even writing this my heart breaks. We reassured dad and comforted him wishing we could do more. Dad was up and down and was so happy when he got a teaspoon of juice " better than winning the lottery he said" on getting a teaspoon of ice cream " lovely jubbly"  - thank you ICU nurses. Dad continued to be up and down.

Dad never complained, never wanted to be too much trouble, all he wanted was to come home. 

Dad was to be moved to the stroke ward. the dr told us that whatever happened dad wouldnt be brought back to ICU but they would do the best they could for him.

At this point I thank those nurses that cared for my dad, you gave dad back to us so he could tell us he loved us and how much we loved him.

No bed was available on the stroke ward and the bed in ICU was needed, dad got moved to medical high dependency where it all started to go wrong. This is where we feel that dad was let down.

Dad was really poorly still and yes a shock for us going from ICU but the quality of my dads care was NOT what it should be and the lack of compassion towards my dad and us as a family.

Medical high dependency did not appear busy, alarms going off not just at my dad but other beds , no staff seemed concerned and it seemed more necessary to sit, laugh loudly about what was going on in there lives! The nurse taking care of dad on the monday, I use the word care loosely did not, in my opinion, know what she was doing when we said dads temp was up I believe and remember the words she said oh it was ok last time and she would check it. We felt it was chore and we were putting her out. She took dads temp oh yes it is high I could go on.

The nurse that really stands out she told us she had forgotten to take blood for cultures as she had been asked to do. Considering we kept mentioning sepsis and dad had had it last year this lapse is unforgiveable! When dad was upset at doing the toilet one auxilary reassured dad not to worry. That one shining lady will not be forgotten for actually caring for dad. She could teach those nurses that day in mhd compassion and caring.That day will not be forgotten and hope that no one you love or the family concerned has to go through what my dad and us as a family did. Perhaps remembering that one day it could be someone they love in that bed will remind them the job they need to do.

Dad was then moved later that monday night to the stroke ward in a room with three other gentleman, dad still had a high temperature. The nurse who was in that night and reassured us that dad would be looked after and any change she would ring. 

The next morning when I saw dad he was awake had a glove on. I asked about this dad had knocked the feeding tube out through the night. We were asked to go wait so they could freshen dad up. When they came to get me and my son we were told dad had been moved to a side room as he had been stripping off and upsetting the gentlemen and they had to think of there dignity. I did say my dad had a temp and he would be upset to think anyone thought that of him. The nurse said rather abruptly that no he was taking all his clothes off. I waited and spoke to the nurse looking after dad that day, upset and explained what had been said.   She said not at all dad was moved because one of the patients was affected on the same side with the stroke and was rather upset seeing dad and wanted to keep an eye on dad and have him closer to the nurses station. Never should a patient or relative be spoken in such a careless way, unforgiveable, all that needed to be said was we moved your dad into a wee side room so we can keep an eye on him.

In the stroke ward most of the staff we came into contact with were lovely and helped dad. Sadly they seemed understaffed but do the best that they can .. more needs to be done to help a much needed ward!

The SalT team decided dad was no longer strong enough to swallow even a teaspoon of liquid in case it went to his lungs. Dad did go downhill, wasn't easy feeling helpless only able to comfort and reassure, asking nurses for help when needed. My dad struggled so hard if anyone could have made it through it would have been my dad. Dad had another swelling but again too ill for CT scan and it was treat what they could treat. 

My dad died at the end of June 2018 after what should have been a routine operation. We were not told properly after the massive bleed what had caused it, a clip. Dad also had respiratory sepsis - what we had from the start been frightened dad would get.

 I hope that lessons can be learnt and improved on.

To the ICU nurses I thank you from the heart for all you do.

MHD I hope this helps to shed a light on how things can be made better.To the nurse and nurses that day  - no words except from the heart make sure every patient that comes to you that you give them the care and attention that they need as if they are your own. To the lady that comforted my dad I thank you.

Stroke ward nurses thank you for doing the best you could- you know who you are.

My dad is our superhero, heartbreakingly missed no longer suffering but happy next door... till we meet again.