"Miscarriage"

I recently discovered via a scan at the EPAC that I had had a miscarriage. 

My experiences of this have been quite traumatic. 

Firstly, I had been seen around 6 weeks for a scan at EPAC due to pain (from a medical condition but to rule out ectopic a scan was recommended).  I was happy to see an early heartbeat, but was a bit sad I wasn't allowed a wee picture at this time. I have had several misc's in the past, so you can imagine a picture would have been nice whilst my fetus was alive. 

Come around 10 weeks, I had a follow up scan - I felt this was a great benefit to me than wait til around 12 weeks. Sadly, at this point, I was told there was no longer a heart beat from the fetus recently passing away. 

I was left with the vaginal scanner in place whilst the staff went to get a second confirmation. Quite upsetting as you can imagine, having just been told the news, but to now have something invasive left there while someone else could come. 

I was taken next to the consult room to discuss what could happen next. I wasn't really with it, so was aware I could call back the following day or so to decide. In the meantime, I was given some products home with me (pads etc) in case it happened at home. 

The next day I called, and requested a surgical removal. I was told I'd be lucky if it was going to happen with the next 2-3 weeks. I find this wait time highly unacceptable for a start. I later called back to check if it would be possible to go on a waiting/cancellation list, and was told yes this is possible. Luckily for me, a slot came up a week later at a different hospital. 

On the day of my procedure, I went to Roodland. The staff were welcoming, kind and attentive. My consultant and anaesthesiologist were nice. The theatre nurses were very kind, and I appreciate the care I received here. I still feel that a week was a long while to wait. I was terrified to go to the bathroom in case it happened at home. 

Once home, I was in a lot of pain, which I tried to alleviate with simple analgesia. Noone told me it would be so painful, and ibuprofen/paracetamol was not helping. 

Finally, after a few days, I had to return to the Royal to be seen. I was given strong pain relief in the Gynae ward after a moderate wait. I found the staff in Gynae middle of the road to be honest. There could have been a bit more empathy. The doctor that had to examine me was kind and appropriate, I think her name was Sam. She was very respectful when I found it hard to tolerate the examination. 

It was recommended I return for a scan the next day due to the pain. 

I arrived and firstly, could not get into the Car Park A. I was next to get in, but the private car park attendant was very rude to me, and would not allow me to wait despite it was clear someone was soon to leave and I could have used their space. The attendant  said "No my problem". I informed them that coupled with recently losing a baby and now being in a lot of pain, the attendant was adding to my distress. It felt like the attendant couldn't have cared less. I find that attitude appalling for the location of the job, in the nature of clients coming to this carpark. 

I finally managed to get a space elsewhere, and made it for my scan, but I was upset to find it was among the mothers-to-be. I got quite upset in the waiting room surrounded by everyone else with their bumps. I don't think the scanning area has been thought out sensitively. Could there not be an hour or so for situations like this? Same with EPAC being right next to obstetric triage - it is quite insensitive and a slap in the face. 

I passed out during my scan, the scanning staff were very kind, and I was seen by a gynae nurse in their triage area who was very kind, I can't remember her name but she was very caring. I was then seen by Dr Viner, who was kind and compassionate, explaining the situation to me well, who told me I had some retained membranes and these should come away soon, but any complication could mean a return to theatre. She gave me adequate pain relief in the meantime with a follow up plan if no progress. 

Luckily, I managed to pass the remaining products myself. 

Overall, a very mixed experience. 

I feel you should rethink the lay out or timing for scans for people suffering loss. 

I feel the carpark attendant should get a lesson in compassion!

I feel some of the staff need to rethink how much of an impact they can have at an already difficult time. 

The wait time for surgical procedure is awful for the Royal. Almost 3 weeks is not acceptable in light of what has happened. 

Subsequently I have been seen by Dr Campbell in his miscarriage clinic - he is an absolute credit to your service and explained a great deal to me in a kind and appropriate manner.