"End of life care."

My father was diagnosed with cancer in April, and was given 2-6 months. Everything was great, the district nurses were amazing, and our GP doctors when coming out to see my dad. 

When he got put into the cancer ward at the hospital the nurses couldn’t have been nicer. The doctors on the other hand never came to speak to me and my mum about my dad’s care but would tell him things even though he was confused and couldn’t remember anything or understand what they were saying. We ended up asking to speak to a doctor at 6pm one night.. we waited until 8pm and the doctor hadn’t came, he/she decided to go home. 

My mum got a phone call on the Thursday morning saying a bed for my dad was coming to our house on the Friday morning, We then went into the hospital on the Thursday, and my dad had said he was getting home, but then when asked again said he hadn’t spoke to a doctor as he was so confused so again we had to ask to speak to someone.. no one came. One of the nurses said he was getting home on the Friday, even though they had said before they wouldn’t send him home at the weekend. No communication between doctors and family.

Dad came home on the Friday morning by the ambulance people, why was he so out of it?  We basically got given my dad like he didn’t matter, like it was the end of his life so they just dumped him home. We didn’t know anything about medication, careers etc until the nurse came in and told us everything. 

My friend also went up to the ward my dad was previously in to collect something left behind and she had told the nurse she was just a friend but the nurse proceeded to tell a stranger that my dad was sent home because he only had 2 days left and was telling her things about him and his care. Yet his family weren’t informed of any of that, which is unacceptable.  

Dad was on a nebuliser at the hospital, and got told he’d get a nebuliser home only if his breathing got “so bad” it was already “so bad”. Doctors kept saying dad would get certain medication but then wouldn’t give it. 

Dad ended up passing away very suddenly on the Saturday night. He had a DNR, but whilst on the phone to the paramedics centre the lady told us to give him CPR, but it shows up on his records a DNR. She then told us to haul him by his feet of the portable toilet and lay him flat, even though he was projectile vomiting blood, which he would have choked if we did that. We then told the lady that he had stopped breathing, she told us they wouldn't be sending anyone as he was dead and told us to hang up? Appalling. 

Some time later she phoned back and said a paramedic was coming out, he arrived and asked us if he was dead? Told us he needed to do some checks and then came back through and told us he was dead. The paramedic also left my dad sitting on the portable toilet with no bottoms on covered in blood. He was nearly falling off the portable toilet we had to try and sit him up so he wouldn’t fall over, instead of moving him onto his bed he left him there. very inhuman and insensitive considering what we had just went through. 

The undertakers then came and were more helpful than the paramedics, got him dressed and moved him. The nurse also came in and room up his morphine drip.

I can’t fault the district nurses, the carers and the GP doctors, they were amazing. Just disappointed in the treatment at his last stages of life. Disgusted in that service, and so is everyone we have spoken about it to.

Absolutely appalled with the service we were given. It would also be nice for the doctors at the hospital to communicate with family members of all the care that’s getting given, and make family aware if the patient is coming home that with a certain cancer (if the person has it) that the cancer can burst in the veins and make them projectile vomit blood which means they are passing. It would make it less distressing if we knew what was coming.