"My mental health. Couldn't care less"

A mental health issue that has been going on for years but I never wanted to go on anti depressants. Up until now. My mental state was noted down on computer but never taken seriously. It made me feel worse like no one cares. I told my doctor about an overdose and against my will she called the hospital and I was there all day with no means to get home afterwards. Now she can't face me again and I have to change doctors after I got got comfortable with her.! After some weeks I called up for an appointment only to hear that I've been transferred to somewhere in Fulham!?? After some weeks of fighting trying to figure out why?(still no anwser) I had to go down there and sort it out and fill out paper work.

I had an appointment finally and I missed it( I over slept) i called up urgently and apologised. Receptionist was rude and couldnt care less. I'm self harming again and hearing voices and my twitching has come back I'm in a bit of a state. I explained this on the phone she didn't care

I asks for another appoiment and she said it's all fully booked! That's it I'm going down as a no show(what does that mean for me now? My partner called up and all she said was go hospital.

I am feeling suicidal recently (even on my birthday) and my own doctors couldn't care less. I don't even know what to do now from here? Do i not get help because I over slept one gp appointment!?