"Feeling extremely humiliated and let down"

I am 31 weeks pregnant with my 4th baby and referred my self to Kings College Hospital. For personal reasons I had decided to change hospitals quite late on in my pregnancy and didn’t think this would be a problem. I am a British citizen and a tax payer and perhaps wrongly believe that I am entitled to NHS maternity care in any hospital of my choosing. Went I went along to be booked in, I had my bloods taken by a very friendly healthcare assistant and explained why I wanted to change hospitals (my last birth experience has left me with ptsd)

I then met the midwife who discouraged me from changing hospitals and made me feel ridiculous for feeling the way that I did. I soon left and on my way out the healthcare assistant yelled ‘bye Lewisham’ very loud as I got into the elevator, as I went down I could hear another say ‘so is she staying or not’ then I heard roars of laughter as I cried on my way down with my 10 month old in his pushchair.

I have never felt more stupid, alienation and humiliated. Maybe I am ridiculous, but I feel the way I feel and need to know I will be looked after. 4 pregnancies, scores of midwives and I have no faith that I’ll ever be looked after. I have now decided not to refer to any hospitals and simply call and ambulance when I am crowning.