"Useless"

After suffering with mental health difficulties since I was 14 and being under specialist services from the age of 16-21 I was in serious need of some support and care. I have done many workshops in the past and was given a huge amount of support at my university. Talking to people scares me and the atmosphere and waiting time did nothing to reduce this anxiety, in fact it built it significantly. Once I queried when I would be going in for me, an abrupt lady collected me and took me through.

Long story short, they asked me what I wanted, I said I wasn't sure but some support on still managing as the suicidal thoughts have been getting much stronger. She told me since they were now 'recovery-based' it wasn't the right place for me (because obviously I don't want to recover) and later even accused me of fabricating my illness to a certain extent.

She was over-powering, wouldn't listen to my views and feelings, nor to the other member of staff in the room. I was left after this meeting feeling completely hopeless. There was nothing tactful in the way she spoke to me and, rather than feeling better the thoughts were stronger than ever.

The people who are technically paid to care, didn't. I am still completely on my own struggling with these thoughts every day with no one to turn to. Instead of a short intervention to help reduce and prevent a breakdown, I ended up in bed, not eating and missing work for a week.

A useless service, not helped by poor funding, but would at least expect the staff to care. Very dismissive and patronising. I would rather die from my illness than be sent back there.