"Mental health"

Have been under the community mental health team for several years. A change in staff resulted in me not seeing anyone for four and a half months and my condition worsened. Calls to my appointed carer where not returned. I presented at A&E tameside as I felt suicidal. They sent me away because I was already under the CMT and refused any medication. A&E/RAID failed to send discharge papers to my GP.

About 8 days later I had a prebooked appt with my GP who knew nothing about me being in a&E. She contacted my CC who said she had attended my home the day before to hand deliver an appointment letter. This was an absolute lie. The postman had brought a letter 1hour before I saw the GP when I Eventually saw the CC asked me what I wanted. I asked for a new CC some regular support and a review of my medication which I felt was not working.

I should mention I have severe me/cfs which is a debilitating illness. Over a week later the CC rang 30 mins before my scheduled follow up appointment to say she wouldn't see me as there was no news on anything. Later that day I rang the CMT crisis number for immediate help. I had become obsessed with suicidal thoughts over the past weeks. They put me through to my CC who called ambulance service who came out. I didn't want to go to A&E and the ambulance people didn't want to take me. Even they knew I wouldn't be helped at A&E. They rang my CC who said I had to go to A&E and not direct to the mental health team. At A&E the cycle was repeated over again and I was sent home in a taxi.

My concern was if I did commit suicide my body would be found by my child when they returned from school. I had lost the judgement of being able to refrain from hurting myself. This was the only reason I had agreed to go to a&E the second time. Three weeks on I have seen a psychiatrist who wanted a blood test before doing anything and to come back in four weeks. When I said I thought I needed more urgent care he became hostile and said I should realise that he had only just met me. I was overwhelmed by then at the thought of having to wait four weeks before any progress. Since then I have tried in vain to find an agency who can offer advocacy or support. Mind only offer this service to residents of Oldham. How do I feel? Desparate, lost and suicidal.