This evening I called the counselling based phone service Breathing Space. I have recently lost three close relatives to suicide and addiction behaviour. Its a very difficult time in my life and I just needed someone to talk to. I usually call Samaratins, but I wanted to try something a bit different. I really regret phoning breathing space and wish I'd phoned Samaritan instead. The person who answered the call made me feel like I wasn't being listened to, talked over me when I tried to express my opinion and with the grief I'm going through I found their response of "it's just how it is" very short and lacking empathy. I feel the mental health service let my relatives down before the tragedy occurred. These relatives are extended family living outside the UK. Even though I tried to explain this, the person on the phone became very defensive and would not let me speak about what happened. I apologised, tried to explain that it had nothing to do with breathing space, nor was it personally aimed at the person I was speaking to (I've never spoken to this person before or even contacted breathing space prior to today). But their reply indicated that it was "not appropriate" for me to discuss any negative opinion of a mental health service (UK or otherwise). I was even told that my relatives deciding to take their own life was their decision, so nothing could have been done about it, and I can't blame anyone. If this person had let me speak, they would have maybe understood that as a psychology student I deeply respect and acknowledge how important mental health services are in helping people. And I also have the right to express my disappointment in such a service when my family reached out to help the now deceased relatives and did not receive the support that was desperately needed. Again, very specific circumstance not even applying within the UK, so I was shocked at how dismissive and defensive the person became. It was clear to me at that point that their best advice for me in this time was "get over it, suicide cannot be prevented, mental health services are perfect so how dare you complain" - actually I wasn't complaining. I was venting and grieving, a very natural part of the grief process, and I did not even raise my voice despite feeling angry under the circumstances. Despite all this, my anger and despair over losing my family was taken very personally and it left me feeling deflated. I ended up apologising and hanging up the phone - and then I cried on my own for a few hours. I will not be calling Breathing Space again.
"Mental health care"
About: NHS 24 NHS 24
Posted by ChooseLife (as ),
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