"Felt like I was a burden"

I was admitted to Harrison house after an incident in town where I believe I had a complete mental break down,

At first it seemed that I had been sent to the right place, people were supportive, attentive and it seemed like I was receiving the right help. I cannot fault the general staff. Some of them genuinely seemed interested in the outcome of my stay and the direction my life was headed.

Unfortunately, by my second review, I felt that the management and the staff had decided that I was a burden, on the same day as self harming, panicking and having suicidal thoughts I was ushered out of the lodge with a half hearted care plan and a reccomendation to go "open minds" a centre that offers therapy I believe. I was offered no diagnosis, any assistance I was receiving with regards to my future were abondoned (I am still getting calls from them saying I have post there, surely an indication I was discharged too early) and I was left to deal with my issues alone.

I believe care was eventually centred around out of date and frankly unhelpful past medical reports from the military centred around alcohol consumption.

I admit that now if they attempt to contact me I will refuse there help, as someone who struggles with trust issues, anxiety and an almost childish need for reassurance I genuinely feel that given the way I was discharged I could never accept help from them potentially settin back any thoughts of real recovery in this area.. As well as leaving a mental scar and a lasting feeling that I am not worth there time.

I also admit I am not the easiest patient, I struggle to communicate with doctors and I have had bad experiences in the past where my conditions and intentions have been over looked because of historic alcohol abuse (I have drank heavily to eleviate symptoms) this begs the question... If I am unable to help myself and the NHS and the military (I was medically discharged) just want rid of me because I'm not an "easy" case.. What hope is there for me?

I have since not left my room and have lost any trust with the lodge and have tried to sever ties with them as being treat like an afterthought or just an alcoholic bum does no good for my self esteem.

All I needed was some insight into my condition/s a diagnosis, help to financially support myself (benefits) and somewhere to feel comfortable and cared for.

In there defence they have tried to contact me and arrange more appointments but to be honest the damage was done as soon as they read a review that was well over a year old and decided instead of listening to me and taking into account my symptoms, to label me a waste of time and an alcoholic. Too little, too late.