"My Experience as a Perinatal Befriender"

I have been a perinatal befriender for over 12 months now and I am so proud that I have been part of a programme that supported a new mum who really needed a friend and someone to help her see there was a future with her baby.

The training was excellent and allowed me to ask those questions that I was uncertain about considering I do not work within this area. I was nervous and anxious about meeting my new mum when we got matched, but it felt so natural straight away and we quickly developed a friendship. I put this down to the staff at Rushcliffe who paired us as it is so important that you can get along.

The staff within Rushcliffe were so supportive and always available for me to speak to after every visit and express any concerns I had. This was a huge factor and meant I handed over any worries rather than them consuming me between my visits. As a volunteer you are made to feel part of the team which surprised me but also made me appreciate all the hard work the centre does.  

The new mother I was paired with was experiencing some issues and each week I never quite knew what to expect but I do feel my weekly visits did help and fundamentally I had the time to chat to her and point out how far she had come, even on those days she could not see that. It didn't take long for her to open up to me (more than I believe she would have done to the Family Support workers) and I feel this is so important with this service, especially when a new mother is struggling with mental health issues on top of becoming a new parent which is life changing anyway.

My time when we met up was more about giving her emotional support rather than practical as this is what she needed. I remember one day her feeling extremely low and vulnerable so I gave her a break down of her day and what she needed to do and returning the following week she told me she had done what I had told her to do and how it had helped. I felt so pleased that I had focussed her and helped when she was feeling so low. Each week was so different and she would have a new worry but together we could focus and get through issues, such as the thought of returning to work, which eventually she did.

I have finished supporting my mum now and looking back on the journey we have been on it is incredible and I feel very proud of her and how far she has come. I know she had a lot of support but I strongly feel that this service really did help her and gave her some continuity in her quest to improve her life as a new mother.

For the family support team to be able to offer this service it is so important as I was lucky I had friends and family to support me when I had my children but there are so many who are alone and this service provides that extra support needed.

Please keep up with good work Rushcliffe!