"Not listened to"

This is the second time I’ve been assessed at the Acre Day Hospital. My latest assessment was referred from the Mental Health Team and my GP after my depression became severe and I was suicidal. It was suggested I have some form of BPD (or EUPD) by the Mental Health Team, which I agreed with, and was referred for assessment to the Acre for this reason.

The woman who ‘assesed’ me was incredibly patronising and belittling, scoffing at the fact I had been referred to their services when I “hadn’t made an attempt to end my life in over a decade”, despite stopping myself doing so regularly at the moment. She seemed to think I should just be seen my Time to Talk (who I’ve seen on two separate occasions in the past), despite the fact of there being self-harm and the suicidal temdacies (so TtT won’t see me because of this). She wasn’t listening to what I was trying to explain to her, it felt like she had already made up her mind on which course of action to take before I stepped through the door. I was suggested a ‘stress management group’ which wasn’t at all appropriate.

It has been incredibly difficult to push so hard for the help that I need through all the avenues of the Mental health services and an urgent referral from my GP, to be then made to feel like I was making it all up and belittled so much has been a huge step back in my ‘recovery’.

I haven’t gone back to the Acre since, despite being called for a second assessment. I know it’ll lead nowhere if I do, and in all honestly, I don’t have the fight left in me anymore.