"MRI and Claustrophobia"

I am 54 years old,i have had claustrophobia for years.In the past i have been able to control the condition.By using simple methods, with travel, trains and the bus,i move seats or getting off and waiting for the next one to come along.ok if you have time.

i have let a couple go by before now because they were packed.i couldn't cope with the closeness and lack of space.lifts,dont bother,use the stairs or if i am the only one in it i could just about cope,make myself get in by trying to talking to myself about logic.only being in it for a few seconds that sort of thing.i got by, by not getting into situations that i couldnt cope with. My doctor had always offered therpy but i resisted.

A few months ago i had to have an MRI.oh my goodness,here was something i couldnt control that had to be done.i prepared for it for week before i had to go.research, looking on the net for information, pictures of the room it was in.e.c.t. I am tough, i am strong, i have delt with this for years and i will take my daughter with me for moral support.That was the plan.

My doctor gave me tablets to calm me down, taken before i went.When i got to the building.it was calm, very nice.a nurse came over to take us through.

The main scan machine was busy.I had to go to the mobile unit.i was shocked by that, i wasnt prepared for the back of a van. i had to do it.

i need to sort my medical problem out.

while i am writing this i need to tell you, i am a little shaky and near to tears. Anyway we went to the outside unit, the van. i was trying to be strong. i just needed it to be over.

i wore a mask, put it on quickly .thank god, for my supportive daughter. the staff were great. i was in tears,shock,the van was so dark,grey and confined. horrific for a claustrophobic. i was shaking so much they had to make a few attemps to get the pictures. my daughter talked to me all the time and was storoking my head to try and calm me.

I dont remember getting home. For three days i was in bits, its so embarrassing. i am 54, get a grip. i couldnt. i couldnt stop crying and felt shaky. also i felt silly. it was over, why was i like this. the doctor said i was in shock.

the claustrophobia is now so bad i have therpy once a week in group and once a month on my own. cant go in a lift, forget that. Travel,no chance unless car with window open, i feel so stupid. but i have little control anymore. In time, with help, i hope and pray it improves.

My condition was known. why was i not treated better, if you dont have this phobia you can never understand the terror it brings. this happened months ago, i am still trying to recover from the MRI and lack of understanding or notice taken on my records. i feel so let down.