"Psychiatric support"

I was feeling really unwell and was under a lot of stress with my living situation, I needed to speak to someone but I have a lot of trust issues and felt like I couldn't go to my doctor so I went to my MSP's office and their secretary was marvellous for me, I could really be myself with them.

They got me an appointment with a psychiatric nurse at Ailsa Hospital. I wanted psychotherapy because I tried CBT a couple of years ago at Arrol Park and it didn't work, the therapist made me feel worse. Because of a traumatic experience in my past they gave me the number for Moving On and said to speak to them while we waited for a space to open up.

I saw a psychiatric nurse and they told me I needed to take medication, but I don't like medication and when I took antidepressants I felt terrible. The psychiatrist eventually saw me and agreed with my previous diagnosis of PTSD and GAD. I asked them about personality disorders because I feel like that it would make a lot of sense and they told me that there were a couple that could be discussed but that I had enough to be going on with, and that there wasn't any point to continue seeing them because I would be seeing their psychiatric nurse.

I didn't like the psychiatric nurse, we didn't get on, but they did get me a support worker who has been wonderful. It has been great to have someone to talk with, not about deep stuff, but to see how they are reacting to me because sometimes I don't know whether I am being paranoid or whether I am right to worry about something.

I only have one more meeting with my support worker and then I am being passed onto Moving On again. I have had no psychiatric treatment this whole time. My nurse and support worker came to my house a few days ago and told me that I couldn't have any without a diagnosis, that the psychiatric nurse could not diagnose me because they are a nurse not a doctor, and that the psychiatrist that I saw before was not my doctor because they had discharged me after our first meeting.

All this time I thought I was under this psychiatrist's care and this nurse was reporting to them, but instead I have been discharged and waiting for psychiatric treatment that I am not eligible for because they didn't diagnose me.

I've had no counselling, no support or anything.

I just want a diagnosis either way, not to have this hanging over my head. If I do have a personality disorder I need to know because it will help me understand me more. They just want to focus on some of the traumatic events that have happened to me, and not help me understand an underlying problem that has been there my whole life.

I just want to see a psychiatrist or a psychotherapist. I want support, understanding, and a diagnosis.