"Many days are still spent in tears."

My son was referred to CAMHS by GP in 2016 on his birthday due to ongoing issues with extreme anxiety. Already known to CAMHS and received previous input between 2013 and  2015 to try to help manage his anxiety, with no real success.

At the time of referral he was struggling to leave his bedroom. He was still trying to achieve some qualifications with the help of the extended outreach service but was struggling to attend even one to one sessions in our local library. We were desperate for help, as my son was then in 4th year but had been unable to attend school since going into first year as the large busy building was just impossible for him to cope with.

I didnt know what to do, many days were spent in tears. He was desperate to achieve and had got to the point where he had asked me if maybe there was some medicine he could take to help him attend lessons.

We had an initial appointment in 2016 with a lovely trainee psychologist at which I put across my thoughts about the need for a full assessment of my son and possible advice on whether or not any medication may be appropriate (despite my general aversion to medication) as a last resort to allow him to have a life outside his room, but apparently CAMHS usual process involved having some further input to try to help his anxiety first despite having already tried this unsuccessfully.

We waited patiently at first for this follow up with increasing frustration as his remaining time in education passed by without him having any support or the ability to achieve what he wanted. Eventually over a year later on , 3 months after being told  there was no further education support available he could access, we received an appointment for CAMHS.

He had two further appointments one of which he didnt manage to attend before it was eventually decided he needed a full team assessment. I was called  to say it had finally been agreed at a meeting, that he should be put onto the waiting list for this joint assessment. I was advised that the waiting time for this is unknown but could be prolonged.

I am so frustrated, disappointed and upset that this crucial service for vulnerable suffering young people is In my opinion, unfit for purpose. I thought the 2 1/2 year wait I had for my eldest son's assessment was bad enough and wasn't expecting much aftercare since after diagnosis he was discharged.

My younger son has struggled with increasing paralysing anxiety since he was 11. He has been involved with CAMHS since he was 12 and he is now nearly 17. He is nearly an adult and is no further forward in the process of understanding himself. He still struggles to leave his room/the house a lot of the time. He has missed out on all the social opportunities a teenager should have, missed lots of family events, and even struggles to attend the twice weekly work experience I have organised for him at our local garage (despite loving it).

How much longer is this to go on? ! It has already been nearly 5 years since he was first involved with CAMHS and 20 months since this referral and we are really no further forward except onto another waiting list.

I believe this service is failing our young people. Every day is a struggle for my son. He has such ambition and dreams and I am so frusrated by inability to find any way to help him.

Many days are still spent in tears. This length of wait is unacceptable. It would not be acceptable for any physical illness so why is it acceptable for mental health? Why is it that the only way we can access care is if he is at risk of self harm and suicide? I work extremely hard to ensure he does not feel so low, but there is only so much I can do for him. I am not qualified to give him the help he needs and we do not have the funds to look for this privately.

I am a great believer in the NHS and being an employee of the NHS myself I appreciate the constraints we are working under, but this is now completely unacceptable.