"Anxiety and depression - how i beat it"

After been knocked down by life and the obstacles it had thrown at me I felt weak, lost and lonely. For roughly 2 years I fell deeper and deeper into depression and with that came anxiety, I felt like everywhere I went people could sense my anxiety and that then turned into a fear of getting into confrontations, that then brought the fear of the police. I felt like if I did anything I would get in trouble or that someone would come to take me away.

My family tried to help and even though I found comfort in them it didn't ease any of the symptoms. Finally enough was enough - I got help. I got put on medication and after a while I felt myself slipping back into the deepest darkest parts of my mind. The truth is I was frightened to go out and actually talk to a professional as it made me feel less of a man I felt like all my manhood was taken away from me, the thoughts of "what if I just end it, what if I never have to wake up again" passed through my mind multiple times.

This is when it hit me, no one ever started a confrontation with me, no one come to take me away no one cares about what I do or where I go, this was the first real step of getting better. I found the courage to speak up and seek help beyond just medicine, I found LetsTalk and this is where my journey to better mental health started. My CBT therapist really showed me the way forward by showing me what I can do and who I can become, he also showed me where I could end up if I don't change things in my life and that put the fire back in my heart to get better.

We spoke about how I used to play rugby league and basically lived in the gym and that going to the gym was something I loved doing and how it used to be my escape, my own release from stress but I stopped going because of the depression and anxiety. So he challenged me to go back, so I did and even though I was scared of been in the very same place I used to thrive in, I found a certain something click so I kept on going. After some more CBT sessions we kept setting goals and I kept on delivering, without over thinking anything I did the goal he set me.

For years I played rugby so working as an individual and as a team was second nature for me and I found my mind set went from ending my life to finding a passion for the gym again, finding a passion to keep myself healthy. Without seeking help and speaking to someone who has the tools to set you on the right path and to show you how you can change your life around and become yourself again or a better person, I'd have never found that passion and without that passion id of never found a way to climb out of that hole and now through seeking help I have the tools to keep myself out of that hole.

So I've gone from wanting to end my life to refinding a passion, my journey didn't end here though, I'm now currently doing my level 3 personal trainer diploma and have been confidently discharged from LetsTalk. LetsTalk really saved my life and I owe my therapist everything as he showed me that with the right direction and focus I can achieve anything I want. Honestly there is always a way out of mental health besides self harm or suicide, even when things look like there's no hope just dig deep, deeper than you've ever dug before, get help, put aside your ego put aside your pride, rebuild yourself from the ground up become a better you - you owe it to yourself.