"Promised a CPN, which has not come"

I suppose my story is one of complaint and despair, but also praise and a thank you to certain staff.

I was discharged in June 17 for the 3rd time this year, after numerous suicide attempts.

At first I was going to be just discharged to pretty much the circumstances as when I got admitted. These being having no CCO nobody to help me when things got difficult, having to try and find some way of getting my own medication blister packed and collected etc. Nobody to help me with my move on from supported living, and pretty much nobody to check if my mental health was deteriorating.

However the week of discharge, the ward manager and deputy ward manager intervened, as they felt discharging me on an endless waiting list waiting for support would lead me to be back in highbury hospital in no time. The ward manager spoke to their manager, and assured me I would be getting assigned a CPN. Hurray I thought finally getting some help, a bleak outlook on the week turned into one of happiness, and joy that finally I was getting some help and finally somebody believed I needed it and was willing to help me.

I got discharged, and due to people not sending emails, I had to have a 7 day follow up off a CPN from the county team, they then assured me the following week my care would be transferred to Stonebridge and the City recovery team.

As I haven't heard anything from the City team, and only have 2 days worth of medication left, I thought I would give the stonebridge centre a ring to inquire 1. ) who would be my cpn? 2. ) when would they be bring me my medication?

Well the person who answered the phone informed me they didn't even have an open referral for me, well they did but the only one being for the PD network.

So I rang Redwood 1 and spoke to the deputy ward manager (who by the way is a credit to their job for all the help they have given me). Who rang me back and informed me they had emailed the recovery team manager. Then they would ring me.

So basically to sum it up all the hard work from the ward manager and deputy ward manager seems to be in vein, as I have had no phone call off any manager from the recovery team nor do I expect to be assigned a CPN. To be honest the whole thing has sent my mental health to some levels of before my last admission to hospital, My suicidal thoughts and thoughts of self-worth are back, and I truly believe nobody cares, and I believe maybe certain people just have told me what I want to hear in order to clear a bed ( not the ward managers, probably the recovery team).

As clearly I'm not in a good place having just recovered and got out of intensive care after nearly dying, I genuinely believed I would be getting a CPN to help me as both my doctor and the ward managers felt I needed. This now seems not to be the case. I don't hold any hope of this changing, and all I envisage now is probably another suicide attempt on the horizon as I can't deal with this stress, at best probably you will call me after this feed back and tell me some support worker will come to see me even though that's clearly not what I need. Probably be told to collect my own medication from somewhere, even though I have severe anxiety going anywhere. I need the correct medical help, that I was assured would be given to me.

It seems budget constraints are put before ones health. 3 admissions to hospital, 3 weeks spent on a brain major trauma unit and still just left to cope with all these struggles in life on my own: (