"I don't know why I was diagnosed Bipolar"

Where do I begin. I was referred back to psychiatric Services after becoming very depressed and suicidal. I seen the consultant and was told I was going in for Assessment. (I was hoping for a prescription for anti-depressants and a few day stay) Although I was a little reluctant to begin with I agreed because it would mean some respite. Assessments are usually 2 months.

The ward is OK. It's a far cry from the old Craig Dunain so I heard. You have your own room with an en-suite, meals that you can choose, and a kitchen to make snacks. It can be very busy and cliquey on the ward with the patients in their own groups.

The staff were nice enough but there was a few issues that I would like to bring up. During my stay I was given a short prescription of a Benzodiazipine. This was fine I was suffering with anxiety however the meds made me high for 20 minutes but afterwards would make me fall asleep. I was glad I was then put onto anti-depressants. The Prozac was working fine and because its fast-acting I was starting to feel better. I disclosed to my keyworker nurses what was bothering me: harassment from my neighbour; and a particularly upsetting episode of emotional abuse from my family who have been doing so for years. Big mistake. A few days/weeks later I was dealt out an anti-psychotic. The pharmacist who seen me that day told me to my face that it was to help me sleep but this was not actually the case (of which I discovered after being discharged). Some of the patients said that they put patients on them to make them gain weight if the patient is skinny. One evening I decided to (stupidly) ask for my anti-depressant and my Benzo at the same time, but it made me loopy. This was not taken into account.

It was Christmas and I was excited about Christmas and was hoping to go home and I was telling people my plans for my breakfast on Christmas. Was refused leave and not told why.

Then at new year I was given my diagnosis of Bipolar. They didn't give me an explanation of why (but asked me if I could think of a reason) and what type I have. I feel they also lied to me about lithium that it doesn't cause a lot of side effects nor weight gain. One of the junior doctors wrote a report on me and it was paragraph after paragraph debating whether or not I have an eating disorder not a mood disorder. Did they get the tapes mixed up?

When I look back on it I think the nurses and doctors did not listen to my bad experiences and wrote my harassment and emotional abuse up as paranoia. Anti-psychotics are not prescribed for sleep. 

They seem to be very enthusiastic about prescribing anti-psychotic medications and trying to find signs as an excuse to prescribe them. I did not need them. I have taken the lithium and it made me gain a lot of weight. I lost it now. Because, after having my side effects dismissed via community out-patients appointments with CPNs and Doctors I decided to stop taking them. 8 months on, I am fine.

They cannot tell me why I was diagnosed as bipolar

They cannot or refuse to tell me which type of bipolar I supposedly have

They cannot or refuse to tell me my triggers

They cannot or refuse to tell me the signs of my so-called mania other than those things that they labelled as paranoia