"Still we are faced with a lack of understanding"

(as a service user),

It's very easy to make the link between a person's harmful actions towards another person but when the abuse is emotional and verbal, it's very subtle and there are no visible signs of abuse, no bodily injuries or scars, no proof of injury and in my opinion, it's more sinister than physical abuse. That's where mental illness occurs and self harm perhaps in the form of suicide attempts, drugs, alcohol abuse, and the isolation from society that occurs in an attempt to prevent further hurt. The emotional pain is real. The sadness the person carries with them wherever they go is real. The effect on their quality of life is every bit as real as the person with a serious physical illness and disability. Yet still we're faced with lack of understanding and in my case, being told that we're 'oversensitive' and need to 'toughen up' after all 'they're only words aren't they? Don't take them to heart.' That kind of attitude is precisely what allows emotional and verbal abuse to happen. Some people feel it's OK to behave or verbalise so long as they don't physically lay a finger on their target. Well no, they aren't 'just' words. They are the verbal expressions of how another person feels about you and in many ways those words can have the very same effect that the suggestions of a hypnotist would have. If someone behaves, implies or tells you often enough that you are not loved or wanted, then you come to believe everyone feels that way about you. That is verbal and emotional assault and in many ways worse than physical because it leaves the victim with the energy of the words going round and round in their head, and the perpetrator doesn't even have to get their hands dirty - the victim will harm her or himself and of course it will be their 'mental illness' not the emotional bully who will be blamed. At the risk of sounding completely mad I'm going to say that thought itself is a 'thing'. Even before we make an action, or speak a word there has to have been the thought. I'm sure I'm not the only person to have sat in a room with someone I know for sure does not like me, and without a single word being spoken. Often this is labelled 'paranoia' because others don't understand how we can just 'know' if someone has harmful thoughts towards us. Many people who have been emotionally abused become hypersensitive to nuances which would go unnoticed by others and that is purely for self-protective reasons. We've all heard of 'toxic relationships' and some of us have lived in toxic relationship environments and believe me, that energy can be felt in a household without a single word being spoken. Perhaps people like me are 'oversensitive' but that doesn't necessary mean we are imagining things that aren't there. It means we are 'more sensitive' than the average person and very prone to this sensitivity being misunderstood. People who are emotionally abused have a far better insight into the power of thought and words simply by their experience of the harmful effects and I for one have had many years to study the vibrational effects of thought - good or bad - on people. How does prayer work? Thoughts are things. They are vibrations. Vibrations can be felt on a very subtle level by the heart, mind and body. Some good has come out of the emotional abuse I've experienced because had it not been for that I would never have enquired about the nature of vibration and how it effects each and every one of us. It's ALL physics. We can't see thought, but we CAN feel it. My thoughts are here in print. This is another form of vibration which can be read and I hope this vibration reaches the medical profession and that they feel the genuine desire that I have to voice my opinions in order to improve the understanding of 'mental health' sufferers of themselves. We are not simply 'mad' or 'mentally ill'. We have experienced abuse on a subtle level and we have something to say about what we have learned from it which could benefit the way we are treated in future. I have lots to say on the subject and would welcome contact from other experiencers and from the medical professions because it's not good enough for us to be simply labelled and treated. What we need is to KNOW that someone understands what we're talking about and that our experiences and sensitivity are VALIDATED. Thank you for this space to write, I have also shared a story about my experiences at Mersey Care Trust. I do hope it helps others to understand just how 'mental illness' can be brought about by the words and behaviour of others towards them for whatever reason.
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