"traumatic experience"

I was suffering with SPD PGP and sciatica throughout the last few months of pregnancy. I was induced a few days early due to being in so much pain/distress/ sleepless nights. So I went in for a sweep and it was absolute agony...I was told I would be induced the next day and I had nothing to worry about as it was not painful just uncomfortable.

I was induced the next day at 12: 00pm and I found this excruciating and worse than the sweep. I later that day refused any more inductions and my waters broke at 22: 20. I was taken into a private room on with my partner where I stayed and was given pethidine x2 this helped with the contractions I was having every few minutes. The girl who looked after me was great, she made me feel comfortable at ease and not anxious. I went to the delivery suite at 07: 30am as I was 4cm dilated and in a lot of unbearable pain.

I requested on my birth plan that I would like dim lights, a calm atmosphere and the less people around me the better. I got there and was taken to a room very brightly lit with a a senior member of staff who was very loud and in your face. I immediately told them this is not going to work or help me relax. I asked for an epidural and was given one promptly. I was given lectures whilst in the middle of trying to deal with very painful contractions about using gas & air when I didn't want it. I felt as though I was being pushed into a corner when I was most vulnerable & unable to defend myself.

I was examined numerous times throughout the day which I didn't mind as I had an epidural and this was really helping a lot. The student midwives were amazing I could not fault any of them. They made me feel more secure confident and comfortable more than any of the actual midwives I had to deal with.

I was told after 11 hours of painful labour, stress and having to argue back with staff that I will be given a section in the next two hours if I hadn't made it to 10cm. 2hours later the midwife said I was 9cm not quite 10 so I tried to push for a while but I was so exhausted by this point I was unable to do this without assistance. I was then given the option of foreps or c-section but the midwife sister ward and registrar basically said I had to have forceps. They told me they would put a screen up so I could not see what was happening. I then seen the instrument they were going to use on me as they did not put up a screen which was very scary looking and made me panic. I had a very emotional breakdown just before they started as they didn't put up a screen and I felt as though my voice was not being heard about how I felt or about what I wanted to do. (I asked for a c-section). They talked me out of having a c-section all 3 members of staff talking at me at once. I felt so backed into a corner and vulnerable. I started crying hysterically telling them I had had enough and I would never use their services again. There was no empathy or understanding for an anxious first time time who had already struggled a lot to get to this point. This has truly put me off ever having any more children as I feel so traumatised. Student midwives were so amazing cannot thank them enough. Thank god they were there for me and very understanding.

I will never ever use this service again IF I decide to have any more children.