"The doctor very angrily shouted that crying would not help"

About: Wishaw General Hospital / Urology

(as the patient),

I suffer from quite a rare difficult to treat and, for me embarrassing urology issue. I've dealt with it for 16 years since the birth of my second baby.

For the first 12 years I worked, looked after my kids and fought to have a normal life - doing my best to work through the pain and discomfort. It's exhausting. No one knew of my condition. Then 4/5 years ago things got worse and I had to stop working. I began to take various medications including antidepressants (which they assured me had positive effects on patients with IC) I gained weight because of them which I now cannot lose as I am in pain and discomfort every day. I was eventually given bladder installations. They didn't work and I was eventually referred to a surgical urologist in Glasgow who specialised in ic treatment. She said I was a candidate for bladder removal/stoma. However she was leaving to work in Edinburgh but assured me I could still have the op with her. Needless to say it didn't work out as the health board deemed that I had to have the operation in my own area. Fair enough. I met a new surgeon for what I expected to be a chat about a date for the operation. He wanted to do another cystoscopy and kidney scan before moving forward. Also he wanted me to see a psychologist as I was emotional on the day and he felt that I was depressed. I agreed with this. I imagine anyone dealing with a chronic illness for 16 years would be feeling depressed and tired. Especially when the illness has ruined every aspect of your life.

I went for my follow up urology appointment yesterday in Wishaw. I waited, along with very many others, for an hour and 40 minutes to see my surgeon. Bear in mind I am expecting, finally, a date for my operation. I am nervous and have been waiting for a very long time (on that day and also for many years....) and I have been running back and forward to the loo every 20 mins. I finally get seen by a doctor who had been drafted in to help my surgeon. I know them, I have been seen by them in Hairmyers. The doctor, when I arrived could not tell me anything about what my future held, they were snappy and clearly in a bad mood and basically quoting from the letter my urologist had sent to my GP and I had a copy of in my bag. When I finally asked (tearfully) what was going to happen, the doctor very angrily shouted that crying would not help and stormed out to tell the nurse that I needed to see my original surgeon. I was sobbing by the time I came out. Regardless of how uncomfortable they feel about my upset they are a doctor! ! There is a duty of care to patients who are suffering and have been suffering for many years. I am on my last nerve. My body and mind are exhausted. I was alone that day and I cannot help but think if my husband had been there this would not have happened. It was rude and thoughtless and I don't want anyone else to suffer that temper. It's totally unnecessary.

I did see my own doctor after this but I was by that point crying and upset after the previous encounter. He was, as always very patient and kind but the other doctor needs a lesson in "bedside manner" please do not let someone else have to put up with this. We are ill. We don't need to be yelled at especially after waiting for an hour and 40 mins for the "privilege"! !

Do you have a similar story to tell? Tell your story & make a difference ››


Response from Hakim BenYounes, Chief of Medical Services, Wishaw General Hospital, NHS Lanarkshire

picture of Hakim BenYounes

Dear Ivycyb,

I’m really disappointed to read of your experience at your follow-up appointment at Wishaw last week. We know that living with a chronic or long term condition can debilitating and emotionally challenging. We often see people at difficult times and appreciate that they may be feeling vulnerable or anxious and I can quite understand from your story why you would have been feeling particularly emotional at your appointment.

I can only apologise for the lack of support and empathy shown to you. I imagine you are also quite frustrated that we didn’t meet your expectation regarding an ongoing treatment plan.

We use patient feedback such as yours for reflection and learning and I hope you will contact the Patient Affairs Department on Tel No: 01698 366558 to provide further details. This will enable me to share your experience with the staff involved. Please tell them that I have invited you to contact us following your post on Patient Opinion.

Kind regards

Hakim Benyounes

  • {{helpful}} {{helpful == 1 ? "person thinks" : "people think"}} this response is helpful