Last night I was very distressed and disorientated. I managed to get down to the River Trent near the weir. It was foggy, dark and cold and before I knew what was happening I ended up in the river. I scrambled out and up the bank. Luckily my phone was still working and I rang the crisis team.
I knew the nurse that answered the phone really well and to start with I just couldn't talk or make myself understood. I was frightened and still feeling really suicidal. The nurse stayed with me and reassured me, offering to get me help. She managed to talk me away from the river and back to safety.
Once I got home I rang and she calmed me down, talking through getting myself dry and warm. One small step at a time but giving me all the time I needed.
Once I was dry and warm we talked again about how to get through the night safely and she said I could call back any time I needed to and she would be there for me.
Without that support last night I am not sure I would have got away from the river. I was disassociating and not thinking straight. Maybe I would have jumped back in? I can't really believe just how desperate I was and how close to ending my life.
Tonight I am frightened and not sure I will stay safe but I know I have the crisis team to turn to and I am so grateful how they were there for me last night. Without that support I am not sure I could carry on.
"I know I have the Crisis Team to turn to"
About: Nottinghamshire Healthcare NHS Foundation Trust Nottinghamshire Healthcare NHS Foundation Trust Nottingham NG3 6AA
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